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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722049">Once More with Feeling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/PettyPrincess66'>PettyPrincess66 (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Badass Clarke Griffin, Becca Pramheda - Freeform, Blood Drinking, Fix-It, I think badass Clarke is hot asf, Jealous Lexa, Lexa is Alive, OP Clarke Griffin, Protective Clarke, Protective Lexa, Smut, There will be death, Time Travel, because FUCK THAT, lexa doesn't die, wanheda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:08:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/PettyPrincess66</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been fifty years since Praimfaya struck again and everyone died - but Becca Pramheda and Keenai Wanheda kept Clarke and some of her friends in their plane of existence. Training them and planning for the day when they will be sent back, back to where they must save Lexa, stop Praimfaya and save the world...no pressure right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Octavia Blake/Lincoln</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>436</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>50 years. That’s how long its been since Lexa died, since Ontari killed the natblidas, since chaos rained and primfaya struck again. Since Arcadia burned and Polis tumbled. Since the coalition disintegrated and almost everyone died. Since Clarke, Murphy, Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and Kane were all snatched up by Keenai and Becca and thrown into rigorous training. The explanation? Change history, Save Lexa, Save the world. Clarke wanted to scoff when she heard it, no pressure or anything. Just save the world, no big deal. But she couldn’t argue, not when it meant she got a second chance with Lexa, her love, her Soulmate. </p><p>Not when it meant Raven got another chance with Anya and Murphy could find Emori again. So she accepted her chip from Keenai, the very first Wanheda, accepted his spirit, accepted the power and responsibility that came with it. Accepted her position as the light. </p><p>Heightened senses, strength, speed, the ability to heal with her blood, eyes as black as obsidian when emotionally overwhelmed and don’t forget the fangs. The fangs she uses to drink blood, which she needs to survive. Not much, but some every few hours or she will slowly lose her mind and be driven into blood lust, making her uncontrollable and dangerous to anyone and everyone until sated. </p><p>“Are you still upset?” Raven asks softly, interrupting the blonde’s thoughts as she settles next to her on the ground, shoulders brushing gently.</p><p>“I guess not.. I’m sorry I got so emotional. I just wish she was here too..” A lone tear fell down Clarke’s cheek at her soft admission, barely a whisper off her lips. Octavia settled on her other side, having came wishing to comfort her sister, and the brunette’s chest ached hearing so much pain in Clarke’s voice.</p><p>“We understand babe, I can’t imagine what the two of you are going through. Knowing the people you love are dead and you have to wait to see them, not to mention they wont remember all that you have been through together.” </p><p>Raven cant help but scowl at the brunette, was she trying to help or make it worse? At this point the young mechanic really couldn’t tell. She reaches over and slaps O on the back of the head. </p><p>“Not helping, O!” </p><p>Rolling her eyes Octavia continues like she wasn’t interrupted, “But you get another chance, you get to be badass women that they will drool over! You get to have the chance to protect them and ensure all the bad things that happened, don’t happen again. And right now we need to stop worrying about them and worry about getting ready to be introduced to the world again.” </p><p>Clarke sighed, she knew the younger girl was right, in a week’s time they would be dropped into the world. Replace their younger selves, but keep their current bodies, skills, knowledge including flawless Trigedaslang, and walk out of the mountain with the rest of their people. Well, the rest of Skaikru. They will offer the 60 delinquents the chance to return to the drop-ship with them, where they already have an over abundance of clothes, food, technology, and really anything else you can imagine including medical supplies and rooms in an underground facility built right under the drop-ship. Keenai and Becca made sure to get everything requested of the 6. Wanting to make the journey and transition as smooth as possible. </p><p>At first they had been immensely over cautious and curious, it simply made no sense that they could make all that they desired appear in a time when they had still been young and foolish and hadn’t had the fore thought or the imagination to dream up the things that could have helped them so much - but as time went on, and questions continued to be evaded, they just took it with a grain of salt. After all, they were plucked out of the world to get dropped into the past. Stranger things have happened.. right? </p><p>Not only have they been training and learning but they have studied battle strategies, set up a spy net work all ready to be implemented once on the ground. They also have access to MUOS and MILSTAR military satellites and MPT hand held devices that Clarke couldn’t wait to see Monty’s reaction too. The ability to turn the vehicles of mount weather they will commandeer from gas guzzlers to solar powered.</p><p>They will cover all their bases. Three people will be keeping watch on Nia and Ontari, report back all of her steps, all of her plans. Gain her trust in anyway necessary and alert of any move against Heda or Wanheda. Including photographic evidence with the help of the MPTs. Two people will always be watching that natrona Titus, which means watching Lexa. They have also learned to play almost every old world instrument and spend a lot of time singing and dancing, it may sound silly but spending 50 years in seclusion with only 8 of them, besides training and planning there isn’t much else to do. </p><p>They slowly make their way back to where everyone is sitting and Lincoln instantly offers his wrist to Clarke. Smiling sheepishly she feels her fangs elongating, and she gently, or as gently as possible anyway, breaks the skin and takes a few generous gulps before pulling back and licking away the puncture marks that close with her saliva. </p><p>When Clarke first found her thirst overwhelming and Keenai explained that she needed to drink to survive, Animal blood can sustain her but human is preferred, she was surprised her friends so easily accepted and offered themselves. Her siblings. Even going so far as to drink from her when injured. The acceptance really made Clarke realize that they weren’t just in this together, they were a family.  </p><p>“Thanks Linc.” Clarke murmurs thankfully, already feeling 100 times better. </p><p>“Of course, Wanheda.” Lincoln winks at her with a smirk, he is one of the first to be ecstatic about the turn of events having known the grounder lore about Wanheda. He is still loyal to Lexa, but he is just as loyal to Clarke. </p><p>Keenai clears his throat and motions for Becca to start. Everyone sits cross legged in front of them, meditation poses that help induce a calming euphoria. When Becca first said that, Raven was the first to call bullshit but as time went on they all seemed to feel the effects. Choosing to sit in this position whenever possible, their lives were just too weird not too need it. Especially when it came time to work through the trauma of their old lives, they all carry some form of PTSD. </p><p>If you looked around at all of them, besides Lincoln, you almost wouldn’t recognize them. Octavia is called blodreina by their nomon and nontu of course referring to Becca and Keenai. She doesn’t have the advantages Clarke has, but she is still a formidable opponent. As are the rest of them. They can’t beat Clarke in a sparring match but Clarke is sure the only one who may be able to best her is Lexa. Not that she would ever wish to find out. </p><p>Raven, Clarke and Octavia all have a similar physique. Well defined thigh, arm, back and shoulder muscles that don’t take away from their femininity but show just how much they have changed none the less, and a pack of well defined abs that sit nicely above a ‘V’ that Raven and Clarke are positive will drown Lexa and Anya in a lust filled fog. Which may or may not be the result they are hoping for.</p><p>The only difference between them would be their tattoos. Octavia has a large blood thirsty looking wolf that extends across her back with trees, stars and the full moon surrounding him. Drawn by Clarke it really is a mixture of awe and terror seemingly come to life on Octavia’s skin. The brunette claimed she found it helps calm the storm raging in her mind, blodreina always reminded her of an old world werewolf. </p><p>Raven only has a tiny tattoo on her chest above her heart, the world fayakraka, which everyone found hilarious but not surprising. After all it was Raven. </p><p>Clarke was the surprise. Whether because she was the ‘princess’ or simply because they knew what she had endured, they all assumed she wouldn’t go within ten feet of the tattoo station, but they were left thoroughly shocked as she not only approached but subsequently chose 3 tattoos. </p><p>In the middle of her right bicep is a slightly smaller band, circling her entire bicep, completely black. About 3 inches above that is an almost identical band, except this one is slightly thicker. When asked the significance of the seemingly random design, the blonde went quiet. They almost thought she wasn’t going to answer, but after a few quite tense moments she explained the bands were something she used to mindlessly draw with her fingers on Lexa’s back when they would lay in bed at night. The pain in her voice was so great, they didn’t push when she stopped talking, fully expecting her to let the subject drop, surprising them all yet again, she continued.. “It’s..it’s symbolic.” When all she was met with were confused glances she smiled sadly a haunted look in her eyes and whispered, “The Samoan translation for the word tattoo is Open Wound. Now 50 years without Lexa and it still hurts, it still feels like an open wound.” </p><p>No one dared question her about her choices after such a heartbreaking revelation. The 2nd tattoo she got, was an infinity symbol on her lower back and no one had to question her reason on that. Very obviously recognizing the symbol on the chip inside of Lexa. The flame. The last tattoo was on her chest, across her collar bone, the words ‘Stedaunon gon we en kikon ste enti’ (The dead are gone, the living are hungry.” </p><p>Lincoln, Murphy, and Kane are all buff, having their own six packs and muscles that stick out even under their clothes. Honestly Clarke can’t help but wonder how the rest of the delinquents, skaikru and Lexa, Anya and Emori for that matter, will take their new looks. It wont take a genius to notice they walked into the mountain looking much different from how they will walk out. </p><p>They aren’t even sure who will remember and what they will remember. Becca assured them that almost everyone will be ignorant of the situation, but a few handfuls will have knowledge, even if not complete knowledge. She assured them it was necessary. Clarke tried to press her, find out who would remember. Not so subtly trying to find out if Lexa would be among those few, but she was shut down by both Keenai and Becca.</p><p>The other noticeable difference about Clarke is her blood. While it used to shine bright red, it is now a metallic black. Surely that’ll surprise quite a few people as well. Becca and Keenai told her most would assume being a natblida came with being Wanheda, so she wouldn’t have to answer too many questions about it.  </p><p>“Alright, lets go over the plan again.” Becca finally says looking directly at Clarke. In fact, everyone was looking at Clarke, but she’s hardly bothered by it now. So used to being shoved in the leadership position. It’s helped her be more pragmatic, which she can admit she lacked before. Always having a blind spot for her people, always feeling unnaturally responsible for their lives and actions. </p><p>“We will exit the mountain with the others. While skaikru leaves we will ask the delinquents to stay behind and join us, we are kom kru. Willing to allow the reapers, former reapers, which we will save to join us when the trepidation to join their former clan appears. We will also clear out the mountain, take as many supplies as we can. Becca and Keenai made sure we have what we asked for but honestly you can never have enough. Raven will dismantle any and all missiles, Kane and Murphy will load the supplies into 3 separate vehicles we will keep at the camp, and O and I will make it clear we are in charge and set up pyres for the bodies in the mountain -”</p><p>“Not to mention rock the fuck out and make things go BOOM!” Raven interrupts pointing enthusiastically at her tattoo making everyone chuckle and roll their eyes.</p><p>“-Yes, that too, after we clear the bodies, the equipment and rock the fuck out..” Clarke explains with another eye roll, “we will initiate the self destruct so that mount weather can’t be used against us later with Emerson or Nia.” </p><p>Keenai and Becca beam at Clarke proudly, “Lexa will be proud of all that you have achieved strikon..” Keenai tells her softly so only she and Becca can hear. </p><p>“He’s right Clarke, there hasn’t been a Wanheda in almost 200 years. You are meant to rule by her side.”</p><p>Clarke can’t help the slight blush that flashes across her cheeks or the shy smile that only Lexa or talking about Lexa can cause. </p><p>“Is it safe to assume that since we are taking the mountain out of the equation, Nia will just kill Emerson and save us the trouble?” Murphy asks, looking between Becca and Clarke. With things that haven’t happened yet, he tended to rely more on Becca than Clarke, a habit Becca was trying to break, and proved by looking at Clarke for the answer.</p><p>The blonde considered it for a moment before responding, learning from Becca, Lexa and Keenai to think at least three steps ahead of your opponent. </p><p>“Part of me wants to agree with you Johnny, but I don’t want to assume anything. If Nia realizes he isn’t useful, I have no doubt she will kill him, but, who is to say the mountain is his only use? She kept him alive after they destroyed the mountain last time.. He was sent to Polis by King Roan but he was very much alive. She kept him that way for a reason.” </p><p>Raven, Octavia, Kane and Murphy looked at Clarke with something akin to awe, which the blonde realized was an expression they wore when she impressed them, while Becca, Keenai and Lincoln were all beaming at her with looks full of pride. She couldn’t stop the blush that swept over her face, and she smiled largely at all of them. As quick as it appears its replaced with obsidian eyes and a low threatening growl. </p><p>“Princess?” Murphy calls, placing his hand on her leg slowly. None of them are scared, they know as Wanheda, Clarke has a primal side, an almost animal side, she is almost always in control of it, which is why the outburst is more concerning than anything.</p><p>“We are forgetting about the natrona! How do we get her to see the archives, the information he is holding from her and the people, when he is there whispering lies in her ear!” Clarke growls out, fangs elongating and bared. </p><p>“Clarke, sweetie, breathe..” Becca calls, slowly putting her hands on both sides of her face to ground her. “I will take care of that, she doesn’t have her memories because we agreed that her and Anya both don’t need the trauma of remembering their death right? It doesn’t mean that eventually you guys can’t inform them, or eventually she won’t remember but that will be up to you to decide. You know how to easily supply them if your patience truly hits its limit…Until then I will make sure she reads them, I will make sure she is aware you are Wanheda, so when she hears that Nia put a bounty out on you she comes to find you. Or maybe she will come to find you after reading the records, or maybe she’ll come find you immediately. Remember though she thinks you are angry, she thinks you hate her and will never forgive her for her betrayal. So you have to remain calm and not do anything rash. Wait for her to come to you, I will make sure she comes to you Clarke. Ai Swega em klin.” </p><p>Slowly Black eyes become Blue as Clarke listens to the calming voice of the woman who has been a mother to them all the last 50 years. </p><p>“Mochof nomon, moba.” </p><p>Clarke spends the rest of the meeting listening to everyone discuss the plan they already have memorized, and laying her head in her nomon Becca’s lap. Becca playing with Clarke’s hair to keep her calm and settled. The Blonde has a harder time than the others, her new emotions, abilities and chip are all incredibly overwhelming but they will help her in the world. Help her keep her friends and loved ones safe. Help her protect Lexa and help her stay in contact with Keenai and Becca, an important stipulation for all three of them. </p><p>Looking down and noting how Clarke was now fast asleep Becca turned to the rest of the dozing 5. “Before you all go to bed, there is one last piece of important information we need for you to have.” Looking at Keenai she receives a nod of approval. </p><p>“Shouldn’t we wake Clarke?” Raven, Octavia and Murphy ask simultaneously. All three having become much more protective of the blonde over the years. </p><p>“No. She wont approve but you all must call her Wanheda immediately upon leaving the mountain. Set an example. Lincoln, the rumors may have already started but having the scouts in the trees see you and the former reapers referring to her as Wanheda, bowing to her, listening to her, will set a precedent with everyone including the delinquents and when they see the rest of you participating…the delinquents are very….” She trails off looking for the right word. </p><p>“They are followers.” Keenai helps. </p><p>Smiling gratefully at him she nods, “Sha, they will follow the example you put out even if they do not understand why they are doing it. This will serve to get towards the goal you are all hoping to achieve.” </p><p>Everyone seemed to be in agreement to the plan, even Kane. It would be his job to attempt to keep skaikru in control, especially Abby, Jaha and eventually Pike. Clarke and Lexa will only intervene if necessary which lets be honest, its skaikru, they are all sure it will be.</p><p>“We are also keeping her back scars.. we almost wanted to give her a clean slate but it wouldn’t be fair. She has endured and survived, those scars are something to be proud of. I don’t even think she would want them gone.” </p><p>At the mention of the scars everyone present, minus Keenai and Becca, freeze and glance at the peacefully sleeping blonde. None of them were there when she was finally captured by Azgeda, tortured by Ontari before her death. They had however seen the after math and it wasn’t pretty. Clarke’s entire back is filled with evidence of her torture, long since healed but no less scarred. They can’t imagine the pain she must have been going through at the time, but Clarke always brushes it off. The blonde was positive nothing could compare to having to hold the girl she loves while she died.</p><p>They will do this for themselves, everyone had a benefit of this second chance but they will also do it for Clarke. If any of them deserve a second chance, its her, that much they can agree on. </p><p>“Any ideas on how we are going to convince the 60 to stop and not flee that place as soon as we step foot outside? I mean, Clarke can heal them but they don’t know that.” Octavia has been thinking about this for awhile now, everyone especially her brother will be hard to convince. </p><p>“And how do we heal them? We can’t exactly be like, ‘hey guys drink Clarke’s blood real quick’ no one will go for that. Hell I wouldn’t even go for it and I have both drank from and allowed her to drink from me.” Raven adds in her usual snarky manner. </p><p>“And you guys thought we ran out of things to talk about..” Murphy jokes laying down next to Clarke and Becca. Picking up where Becca stopped with the blondes hair. </p><p>Murphy found that he loved his new family, a revelation that surprised him at first. He had never had a real family, and yet that’s what they were. Sisters who loved and protected him, teased and challenged him, but at the end of the day were his rock as he was there’s. Clarke was the only one who resorted to calling him ‘Johnny” instead of ‘Murphy’. He also had Brothers who he looked up too, who taught him things he didn’t understand about being a man. A nontu, who was caring and compassionate. A nomon.. He had never had one of those.</p><p>“Getting them to stay will be the easiest part, none of them want to go back to Arcadia and you all know they will only treat them like criminals and not like people. Remember how they treated Clarke? Especially Abby..” Keenai spit, his hatred for the doctor clear in his tone. </p><p>Abby had hurt Clarke more than anyone, telling her that she didn’t recognize her little girl anymore, that her daughter was dead and she wanted nothing to do with Clarke. That her father would be ashamed of her. Of course she hasn’t said it yet this time, but especially with the new changes to the blonde, they all know its only a matter of time. </p><p>“And as for healing them, there are syringes, 100 of them to be exact filled with the nanites in Clarke’s blood that will heal any and all lingering injuries on the people injected with it. Clarke won’t have to physically do anything, she never will unless she chooses to heal. Even then we only expect her to heal the 9 of you, with Lexa, Anya and Emori being included but we won’t interfere should she choose otherwise. She just has to be careful, knowledge is power and the knowledge that her blood can heal is especially dangerous. Keep 10 on you at all times, that way you always have immediate access to it. People will be curious as to its contents but they will never know its origins. There will be 5 piles of clothes outside the door to mount weather and the syringes will be tucked safely in the middle. The outfits and everything else you requested will be there.” </p><p>After listening to their instructions, they all proceeded to follow Clarke and Murphy into sleep. Somehow more exhausted than they have been in years. They were all excited to go to the world, to see their loved ones again, to implement their plan but there was also a quite large amount of anxiety rolling off all of them. They had learned to deal with their combined PTSD, but it still affected them, always would. They hadn’t had to fight or survive for 50 years, they could just live. They are more prepared, all of them warriors in their own right, with knowledge of the future and all kinds of help they didn’t have before, but that didn’t make them any less anxious. </p><p>That last week flew by quite fast for our nervous six, spending as much time as they can with nomon bekka, and nontu keenai. Yes they all took to them as parents and were gladly accepted as children, especially considering none of them had parents anymore. </p><p>Standing together, hands held, gazes locked with Becca and Keenai they all waited, practically shaking with nerves. One by one they received a hug and a kiss on the forehead, and although their eyes were glossy with unshed tears. They refused to let them fall, this wasn’t goodbye. This was very plainly, Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim. May we meet again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Waking up in the world again was a transition for all of them, things had already changed slightly. They were at the front of their people, leading them out of the mountain. The procession was quiet, somber, but the first 6 couldn’t wait to get outside and experience life again. To know that all of this was real, plus their old clothes were hardly comfortable with their new bodies.</p><p> </p><p>Once outside, they parted. Raven, Clarke and Octavia on one side of the door and Lincoln, Murphy and Kane on the other, patiently waiting for all <em>skaikru </em>to exit, politely asking each delinquent they came across to discretely stay behind. They weren’t met with any resistance, except for Jasper. They didn’t ask him, they just let him leave. Clarke really didn’t wanna have to kill him, but just like last time, she would. She just wouldn’t feel bad about it this time.</p><p> </p><p>Not because she lost her conscience but because his actions and behaviors are his and his alone, Clarke lost the woman she loved for over 50 years and didn’t turn into a worthless, useless drunk. She had also known Lexa a lot longer than 3 weeks. While she is sympathetic to his plight, her sympathy doesn’t extend to his need to drink his feelings and take his pain out on every one else.</p><p> </p><p>Looking out over the tree line with her advanced senses, Clarke knows there are 15 of Lexa’s scouts watching her and her friends. She fights a smirk, she can’t believe she was naive enough to think Lexa left her alone last time. The Arkers seem to be in such a state they hardly notice the 60 remaining behind and if they do, they don’t say anything about it. Thankfully there is still a few hours until nightfall.</p><p> </p><p>All the delinquents sit on the ground waiting to see why they were gathered, Clarke stands tall, hands clasped behind her back, face a mask of no emotion. She hasn’t had any interaction with these people in so long she isn’t quite sure she remembers how.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Fifteen.” </em>Clarke chuckles out to Kane, Lincoln, Octavia, Raven and Murphy.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Seriously?!” </em>Raven can’t help the laugh that escapes her, or the tears that accompany how hard she is laughing. Of course Lexa would play over protective girlfriend from all the way in Polis.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What did you expect? She couldn’t be here, she wanted you to be safe.” </em>Lincoln calmly explains, siding with Heda and Wanheda simultaneously as usual.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I have to go catch up with the sky people, keep each other safe. Remember what Becca and Keenai taught you.” </em>Kane hugs each one of them and again they don’t let the emotions show. They’ve spent the last 50 years being teenagers, and now they lost both parents and their older brother all at once.</p><p> </p><p>Fighting against the painful knot that appeared in her throat, Clarke takes a deep breathe and says, “<em>I think we should talk to them, explain some things and then change. These clothes are so uncomfortable.” </em>Clarke lets out a low whine, making Octavia and Raven reach over to hug her.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>After you Wanheda.” </em>Raven calls out loud enough for all present to hear. Clarke narrows her eyes at her, but otherwise says nothing. Switching to English for the delinquents who have no idea how to speak <em>Trigedaslang</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“We asked you to stay behind because we don’t plan to go back to the Camp Jaha. We are going to the drop-ship, we have supplies and a base set up and ready to be of use, and we are offering all of you the chance to come with. If you choose to return, we will not think less of you, we will even accompany you so we know you are safe. However should you choose to stay, I am in charge.” Clarke makes sure she leaves no room for argument with the tone of her voice, however she still expects some. Becca was right after all, the delinquents have always been followers.</p><p> </p><p>Raven and Octavia make eye contact with Lincoln and Murphy and their part of the plan comes to fruition, also expecting some idiot to step forward and challenge Clarke. “<em>Sha Wanheda</em>, our loyalty is with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Each step back and kneel before her. Eyes to the ground and hands on their bent knee. Clarke want’s to be surprised but she isn’t. Becca told her she should get used to treatment like this, just like Lexa had too. What did surprise her was each of the delinquents taking a knee, and repeating the phrase, even Bellamy. No argument or debate. Just acceptance.</p><p> </p><p>With her enhanced hearing she can hear the <em>gona’s</em> in the trees, the astonished gasps and then the accompanying murmuring among themselves about ‘<em>Wanheda’</em> and this is how the rumor will start, Clarke thinks to herself.</p><p> </p><p>“Rise.” Clarke commands and everyone stands waiting for further instructions.</p><p> </p><p>“Raven, Murphy, Octavia and Lincoln you are team leaders. Take 20 each. Octavia you control Alpha team. Raven, Beta team. Murphy, Omega team. Lincoln, Delta team. Your team leaders will help keep you in line and remind you of your daily duties, listen to them. Any questions for me you can ask me directly or if I am unavailable your team leader will be able to relay your questions. For now we don’t have time for that. If you are injured and in need of any type of medical treatment stay here. If not, follow your team leader, they will tell you why we are still here. For the time being make yourselves comfortable, give us about five minutes.”</p><p> </p><p>Finishing her speech Clarke is glad to see everyone accepts her idea. They all split easily, 20 to a team and all who need medical attention after being split into their team are sitting just in front of their team leader. If anyone wondered why Lincoln was the lone figure they didn’t ask. Hurrying to the door, in quite the rush to change. They quickly grab their clothes and spread out.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shit what are these made out of, clouds?!” </em>Raven exclaims rubbing her shirt against her face.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Nomon promised to take care of us Rae, this is her keeping that promise.” </em>Octavia points out, also rubbing her shirt on her face. The material was so soft it didn’t even feel like armor. How it could be both that soft and protective was beyond her but the young brunette wasn’t about to question it.</p><p> </p><p>Living with only 8 of them they had all gotten used to nudity, so they wasted no time in stripping off their old clothes until they were bare as the day they were born. Hearing soft whispers behind them and gasps as the delinquents took in their new found bodies Clarke can’t help but giggle.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It’s started,” </em>She sing-songs making the others giggle with her. “A<em>nybody have time to come up with a story as to why we all look like.. to quote Monroe, Harper and about 15 others.. ‘Greek Gods’” </em>All of the 5 bust out laughing, quickly scrubbing themselves with soap and water, drying off and rinsing their hair.</p><p> </p><p>Clarke, O, and Rae, couldn’t help but squeal a little excitedly upon seeing their collective outfits. They absolutely refused to use the grounder bands, too complicated, and they didn’t want a normal bra, too restrictive. So they went with sports bras, although Clarke's almost looked like it wouldn’t fit until she got it on. Blessed as she was with her chest. They wore halter tops that cut off right below their breasts leaving their abs on full display.</p><p> </p><p>The tops had three slits in them, not leaving much to the imagination. Octavia’s shirt was Blood Red, Raven’s was dark green and Clarke of course had midnight blue. They each have a pair of tight black jeans, flexible enough to provide all the movement they need but tight enough to show off their curves. Ankle socks and Black Leather boots completed the outfit with a sleeveless Vest. Red for Octavia, Green for Raven and Midnight Blue for Clarke. Most of their clothes had this trend.</p><p> </p><p>They quickly attached their weapon sheaths and swords they made themselves and have been saving for the last 50 years. Octavia, Raven, Murphy and Lincoln all had two Bright silver swords with dark black handles, and matching daggers to be clipped to both legs, They were beautifully crafted and well taken care of, so sharp it could cut a piece of thin string.</p><p> </p><p>However, Clarkes swords were different, unique. She created them, but she had Keenai’s help, with knowledge of the previous Wanheda and the battles he fought. Her swords are Metallic Black with bright white handles, getting the inspiration from her blood which was mixed into the blade when created. On one blade it says “<em>Yu gonplei ste odon.” </em>your fight is over.. and on the other it says “<em>Wamplei nou laik eno.” </em>death is not the end. With matching daggers of course.</p><p> </p><p>Lincoln and Murphy both had muscle tank tops that hugged them just right and while the girls went with symbolic colors for their sleeveless vests the boys just went with black. Matching their boots and their jeans perfectly, while their tank tops were white. Clarke advised against it for many reasons but they were adamant and she can’t argue they don’t look good.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Well don’t we clean up nicely.” </em>Raven teased, appraising each of her siblings.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I think they agree with you.” </em>Octavia pointed to the group of delinquents openly gaping at the 5 siblings now. Some of their Jaws were quite literally on the floor. They tried to stifle their laughter but it still shone through.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>At least we’re covered, your attributes are all on display ladies. Father told us if anyone stares too long besides your chosen we are allowed to break their jaw.” </em>Murphy started cracking his knuckles glaring openly at the males ogling his sisters, while Clarke slapped him playfully on the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>No, Johnny we are trying to gain their loyalty. Scaring them comes later.” </em>Both boys openly huffed and walked over to their teams.</p><p> </p><p>Snickering softly, the girls separated, each standing in front of their chosen team while Wanheda was the lone figure in the middle. “Alright, Alpha team you’re with me. Beta team your job is to disable any weapon system including missiles. Omega team your job is to accumulate any and all useful supplies and load them into three vehicles that we will be using for transport. Raven, choose wisely before taking your team to handle the missiles. We are only keeping <strong><b>three</b></strong>! Everyone understand?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Sha Wanheda</em>” Was collectively spoken, surprising Clarke yet again, who kept her face neutral despite it. This was going a lot better than she had anticipated. Last time Clarke didn’t stick around long enough to be near the delinquents but maybe their spirits are so broken after the endeavor that was the mountain they just don’t have any fight in them. Clarke can’t help but feel like this works in her favor, they’re already broken, now they just need to build them back up.</p><p> </p><p>In the end their were only 15 delinquents who needed medical attention, which was a lot less than they pictured. Besides being fatigued, most were okay. Grabbing the syringes filled with only a small amount of nanites. She slowly started injecting them, watching as one by one they perked up. The wounds they had closed, their energy restored, and a light in their eyes. It almost made her want to inject the remaining 45 but she couldn’t bring herself to waste it. Not when life on the ground is too unpredictable.</p><p> </p><p>To help with the fatigue they decided food would be a good place to start, they went through the mountain and found what was left that was edible and dispersed it among the <em>goufas, </em>which they took great pleasure in calling them. Especially because they couldn’t understand what they were saying. After Alpha team had eaten, Clarke split them up. 10 with O and 10 with her. O’s half would be building pyres while Clarke’s half would be carrying out the bodies. They were going to give the innocents of mount weather a proper funeral.</p><p> </p><p>After about 15 minutes she told them to continue while she went to check on the others, it didn’t take her long to find Beta team and Clarke was impressed with their progress. Raven spent half a century studying missiles and the best way to render them useless, so it shouldn’t have been such a surprise that she already had 10 of the 20 short and long range missiles disabled. Leaving with a quick and efficient, “keep up the good work,” Clarke set off to find Omega team. They already had almost an entire vehicle filled. It came of no surprise to Clarke that Raven chose two trucks and a hummer. Considering the size of them, they shouldn’t need to fill all three but they will still keep all three, Clarke mused, a promise is a promise.</p><p> </p><p>Finally stepping back outside Clarke fights the shudder making its way down her spine. The blonde has had years to come to terms with mount weather but she can’t help but wonder what the delinquents or even the scouts in the trees are thinking.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Ready Lincoln?” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Sha Wanheda.” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“I know nomon put you guys up to that, but you don’t have to call me that linc, you guys are family..” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“We know, but its important especially in the beginning. People need to respect you, even fear you. There is a healthy level of fear in respect. You know what we have to do, and you know it will be easier this way, We are still family, but we all have a part to play.” </em>Lincoln finished with a small smile and incline of the head.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Clarke couldn’t argue with that, calling her Wanheda right off the bat was a political move if she ever saw one. She was meant to rule by the commanders side. The Light and the Flame working together, ruling together, soul mates and partners. Equals. Her title is as much a part of her as Heda is to Lexa. The faster the blonde gains their respect and as Lincoln so eloquently put it, fear, the easier things will be for them in the coming weeks.</p><p> </p><p>For that reason alone they walked into the reaper tunnels, grabbing one at a time. They were already tied down, having been disposed of before Lexa’s army left. Exhausted from fighting their bindings, most of the reapers were pretty docile, only sparing a jerk or growl while being carried. Clarke could hear the scouts murmuring again, very curious to find out what the blonde was doing with the reapers and report back to their commander.</p><p> </p><p>Actually, curious as to what they were doing at the mountain in general but they couldn’t say anything about it. For one, they were supposed to remain hidden, it is only Clarke’s acute senses that help her see and hear them and they aren’t aware she can. For two, Clarke conquered the land, by law it belongs to Wanheda.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Its okay, you’re safe. Everything will be okay now.” </em>Clarke whispers quiet reassurances in the ear of each reaper as she injects them with the nanites, watching as the struggle ends. The cuts and rope burns heal, the light returns in their eyes, and they look at her with such a level of awe she starts to feel slightly uncomfortable but fights the feeling.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Lincoln, after each are healed, cut their bindings and help them stand. Get them food and water, they will have to wait on new clothes until we are back at the drop-ship. They’re part of Delta team.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Sha Wanheda.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The look of reverence only increases when her title is spoken, and again Clarke has to find it in herself to remember this is the plan. This is her title. In the end, 20 reapers are alive to be saved. Giving each team equal numbers. While everyone else is working, Clarke stands in front of the newly reformed reapers, the picture of regal elegance. Choosing to take her stance from how she remembers Lexa standing in front of her people.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You may return to your clan’s with no interference from me or my people. The people you see around you. Or you can join us, we will accept you completely, a fresh start until you are ready to return or a new home if you never wish to return. The choice is yours.” </em>Clarke hadn’t intended to wait for their decision, having much left to do before the sun descends, but thankfully she didn’t have too. One by one the reapers took a knee.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Our loyalty is with you Wanheda.” </em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Rise.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Clarke commanded softly, the more people willingly submitting to her, the more people willingly submitting to Lexa. She couldn’t find fault in this plan, and she didn’t want to try.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>The mountain is still fresh with many. You are now kom kru, as are the rest of us. But each are split into separate teams responsible for separate jobs, your team leader is Lincoln and your team name is Delta. You will switch places with Alpha team, building pyres. While we remove the bodies from the mountain.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“<em>Sha Wanheda.” </em></p><p> </p><p>With four fully formed teams now working, it went by much faster than Clarke anticipated. Soon everyone was outside, piling bodies respectfully on pyres. 600, that was how many innocents Clarke had killed, and she found nothing in herself to regret her decision. Part of her wants to say it is because she came to terms with it, and she had, but she saved her people and, at least to the old Clarke, that was her only mission.</p><p> </p><p>Stepping up behind the pyres Clarke chanced a glance out to her people, the 80 individuals whose life she was now responsible for. Some openly wept while most had a look of absolute defeat. Thats okay, she silently thought, Ill fix them.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yu gonplei ste odon.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“Yu gonplei ste odon.” </em>Was repeated in unison by everyone in attendance while the six funeral pyres were lit.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really enjoy the sibling relationship between our five! It's just a lot of fun to write, especially since I changed Octavia - I hated how in the show she was such a whiny annoying brat.  Let me know what you think?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Some stood to watch but most chose to sit, still being quite tired after the days events. “<em>Is everything finished</em>?” Clarke asked her siblings, who nodded solemnly.</p><p> </p><p>Clarke slowly walked up to the side of the mountain were the supplies were left and grabbed her guitar, sitting off to the side of the members of <em>kom kru.</em> Some chose to turn to look at her, others kept watching the pyres. But she paid them no attention, she was surrounded by Raven, Octavia, Murphy and Lincoln. Offering silent support.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>When the days are cold and the cards all fold </b>
  </strong>
</p><p><strong><b>And the saints we see are all made of gold</b></strong> </p><p> </p><p>Clarke slowly began strumming on her guitar, almost everyone was watching now, and listening. Amazed by the singing voice to accompany the apparent overnight transformation.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>When your dreams, they fail, and the ones we hail </b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Are the worst of all, and the bloods run stale</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Octavia picked up, choosing to be Clarke’s singing partner almost every time. Sometimes Raven would join, sometimes she would just listen. Clarke began again..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>I wanna hide the truth</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>I wanna Shelter you</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>But with the beast inside</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>There’s nowhere we can hide. </b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Together..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>No matter what we breed</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>We still are made of greed</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>This is my kingdom come</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>This is my kingdom come</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Clarke..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>When you feel my heat, look into my eyes</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Its where my demons hide its where my demons hide</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Octavia..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Don’t get too close, its dark inside</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Its where my demons hide its where my demons hide</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Clarke..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>When the curtains call is the last of all</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>When the lights fade out all the sinners crawl</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Octavia..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>So they dug your grave in the masquerade</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Will come calling out at the mess you’ve made. </b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Clarke..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Don’t wanna let you down but I am hell bound</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Though this is all for you, don’t wanna hide the truth </b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Together..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>No matter what we breed we still are made of greed</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>This is my kingdom come this is my kingdom come</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Octavia..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>When you feel my heat look into my eyes</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Its where my demons hide its where my demons hide</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Clarke..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Don’t get too close its dark inside </b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Its where my demons hide its where my demons hide</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Octavia..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>They say its what you make I say its up to fate</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Its woven in my soul I need to let you go</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Clarke..</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>You eyes they shine so bright</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>I wanna save their light I cant escape this now</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Together..</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Unless you show me how</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>When you feel my heat look into my eyes </b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Its where my demons hide, its where my demons hide</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>don’t get too close, its dark inside</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Its where my demons hide</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <b>Its where my demons hide..</b>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Again everyone is openly gaping at them, “<em>I wonder when the wonder lust will fade..” </em>Clarke mumbles softly, receiving snorts in response.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hot chicks that can sing, isn’t that like everyone’s fantasy?” </em>Murphy exclaims, receiving a high five from Raven.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You bet your sweet ass it is, Leksa isn’t gonna know what hit her.” </em>The five of them snicker and stand, making their way over to the entrance of the mountain one last time.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Alright, get the vehicles out here and parked, after that Raven start the sequence. That’ll give us a minute to sit quietly while we wait and watch the fun.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Raven is practically vibrating with excitement when she runs into the Mountain with Octavia and Murphy while Clarke and Lincoln return to the quietly chatting delinquents and former <em>ripas</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened here was hard, for all of us. The commander made a decision that was best for her people, while I made one that was best for mine. This is a new age, a new dawn, a new people. We are <em>kom kru! </em>We hold no ill will to the 12 clans or the commander for their decision. The leadership of the mountain was given a chance to stand down and save all the lives that were lost, they chose greed and selfishness, forgetting that to be a leader is to make the best decision for your people..even if it isn’t the best decision for yourself. Tonight, we burn the dead, we mourn, we say our prayers and weep. Tomorrow, we move on. You have a choice to make here and now..” Clarke pauses in her speech, already seeing the look of respect on almost every face present, even the <em>gona’s </em>in the trees. By this time Raven, Octavia and Murphy have returned, signaling her that it’s started.</p><p> </p><p>“You can let this break you, drown in your sorrows and ‘what ifs’ <strong><b>OR</b></strong> you can let this be a turning point, if you are broken you return stronger! Never forget what happened here but learn from it! Live with it! Accept it! And Flourish! Life is about so much more than surviving, if you let me, I can show you how.”</p><p> </p><p>Clarke’s speech is perfectly timed, the second the last word leave’s her mouth the mountain self destructs, a huge resounding <strong><b>BOOM!</b></strong> Is heard behind them, making most of the delinquents jump. Clarke stands tall, not looking behind her, not flinching, but challenging each of them to accept her words. Accept her power.</p><p> </p><p>Silence reigns in the valley when the crumbling mountain finally stills. Most staring at Clarke with wide eyes, as if truly seeing her for the first time. Two of the <em>gona’s</em> in the trees have already set out, whether for Tondici or Polis she isn’t sure, but she knows by tomorrow most of the clans will know what happened here today. Gossip spreads like the plague with the clans.</p><p> </p><p>Murphy is the first to take a knee, looking into her eye for a minute before lowering them respectfully, “Teach me <em>Wanheda</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone bows in quick succession afterwards, all repeating the phrase “Teach me <em>Wanheda</em>” and Clarke cant fight the shiver that runs down her spine.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I absolutely love the song in this chapter and I was listening to it as I wrote and thought it fit pretty damn well! Next chapter we will finally get some Lexa action!! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Since chapter 3 was sort of short I figured I'd give you a double update, enjoy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sitting on her throne in Polis, Lexa is fighting with the feeling of her heart breaking in her chest. The brunette can’t seem to get the look of utter heartbreak on Clarke’s face out of her mind. Clarke, the girl from the sky who stole her heart after she swore to never love again. Clarke, her <em>deishana</em>. (sunshine) Who brought light into her life when all that was left was darkness after Costia. Clarke who she sacrificed any chance at being with, any chance at being happy, any chance at their ‘someday.’ because she couldn’t bring herself to even hope that Clarke would forgive her, if she made it off that mountain.</p><p> </p><p>Lexa felt her stomach churn painfully, she hadn’t wanted to think the words but really, Clarke could be dead. There is no guarantee any of <em>skaikru</em> made it out safely. She swallows the bile that threatens to crawl up her throat and starts to pace. Where are her scouts? Shouldn’t they be back with an update?</p><p> </p><p>Hearing the doors open Lexa looks up, already knowing who would enter without announcing themselves. She looks away just as fast not willing to look her former <em>fos</em> in the eye. She hadn’t just left her love, she had forced Anya to leave hers. Guilt threatens to crush her. Guilt, Heartbreak, and more pain than she had ever felt.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You are thinking too loud seken” </em>Anya playfully scolds, getting as close to Lexa as she dare in this state.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I am sorry Anya, I am so sorry.” </em>In a rare form of vulnerability, Lexa clings to Anya, feeling a few traitorous tears leak from her eyes. “<em>Do you think they will ever forgive us?” </em>She asks in a voice so small it reminded Anya of when she first came to Polis, 6 years old and smaller than all the other <em>natblidas.</em> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>I hope so Leksa, I really hope so..” </em>Both are filled with so much pain not knowing what happened, waiting was the hardest part. Even if they couldn’t be forgiven, as long as their loves were alive, they could spend forever trying to fix their mistakes.</p><p> </p><p>Before either can say anything else a loud resounding <strong><b>BOOM,</b></strong> is heard and felt, nearly knocking them off their feet. Rushing to the balcony they see mount weather crumble before their eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>No!” </em>Lexa screams, falling to her knees. “<em>No, no, no, no.” </em>Each breathe she takes is more painful than the last, leaving her gasping on the floor in Anya’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We don’t know they were in there. They could have escaped. You know them, they are resourceful! They could have gotten out.” </em>Anya starts rushing out faster than Lexa had ever heard her talk. It was clear she didn’t blame the brunette, but she didn’t fully believe what she was saying either.</p><p> </p><p>They sit there for what feels like hours but could have been minutes, honestly neither would known the difference right now. Waiting for some news, some ounce of hope to accompany the empty feelings in their chest, where their hearts used to be.</p><p> </p><p>A loud knock forces them out of their residual shock, breaking apart, wiping their faces and standing as regal as possible, Lexa calls out, “<em>Enter!”</em> </p><p> </p><p>A young scout runs in, followed closely by Indra, Gustus and Titus. The boy is panting and bent over with both hands on his knees.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Wa-Wa-Wanheda, has destroyed..the mountain.” </em>Is the first thing he manages to sputter out. Resulting in 5 sets of wide eyes staring him down until he elaborates.</p><p> </p><p>Clearing his throat, finally able to stand tall and breathe semi normally he speaks, “<em>Klark kom skaikru and the rest all exited the mountain together. Most left, but Klark, Revion, Linkon, and at a quick count about 62 others stayed behind. They bowed to her, called her Wanheda.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Everyone in the room takes a quick intake of breathe, waiting for more information, the boy waits for Lexa to nod before continuing,</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Wanheda split them into teams, each responsible for a job she deemed important. I don’t know what the teams inside the mountain were doing, but the one outside, Led by Wanheda Klark and Oktevia, were building pyres and carrying bodies out of the mountain. After some time, Klark and Linkon broke off, bringing all the remaining reapers out, giving them something we couldn’t see and then untying them. Their were 20 alive, and each swore their loyalty to Wanheda. Their were 600 bodies, Wanheda killed them all.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Everyone was silent absorbing the information they heard but none more than Lexa. Clarke..her Clarke..her sweet, innocent, beautiful Clarke had done it. She destroyed the mountain. She saved them. But Lexa couldn’t help the stab of pain she felt, even with the pride. She knew these deaths would haunt her <em>diashana</em>..</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Wanheda she is different Heda..” </em>He hesitates looking at Lexa unsure of how to continue.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Speak true, different how?” </em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>I was with the team that accompanied you both to the mountain, if I had to describe her I would only be able to say she was a typical skaikru, slim but not a warrior. No muscle, no endurance, unfit to survive a life on the ground and quite lucky to have survived as long as she had.” </em>He refuses to meet the eye of any as he continues but Lexa can’t help the narrowing of her eyes at the blush that spreads across his cheeks and up to his ears.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>When Oktevia, Ravion, and Klark left the mountain they were not typical Skaikru anymore. They changed clothes..stripped down right in front of the door before they began and they are nothing but muscle, smoothly and softly feminine but they even have abs Heda! And tattoos! Wanheda Klark has two on both arms, one on her lower back and one across her chest.” </em>His face takes on the hint of a smile like he is fondly remembering the way she looks, Lexa clears her throat fixing him with a glare which sends another deeper blush to spread.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okevia also has a back tattoo and Revion has one on her chest, above her heart. They lit the pyres, and Wanheda Klark gave a speech.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Lexa can’t help the pride that swells in her chest listening to the speech Clarke gave the delinquents and former <em>ripas</em>. She was right, Clarke was born to lead. The brunette wasn’t sure how to take the news that Clarke was now ‘Wanheda’ or the news that Clarke had apparently changed overnight, but she chose to file that away for later reflection and finish listening to the young scout.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>After her speech, the mountain exploded. Wanheda Klark stood there not flinching while it crumbled behind her, challenging everyone present to reflect on her words and one by one everyone took a knee and asked her to teach them. Two of us ran to inform Heda, General Indra and General Anya while the rest stayed to follow Wanheda Klark.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Thank you warrior, get a meal and some rest.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Bowing swiftly, he exited the thrown room while the five stood pondering the information they had just received. No one spoke for a long while and it surprised none of them when the <em>flamekepa</em> was the fist to break the silence, or the words he spoke, though they still made Lexa tense angrily.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You must kill her Heda, Take her power before your enemy’s have a chance to! Or have a chance to use her against you. You betrayed her on that mountain. She could just as easily be an enemy now.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Lexa couldn’t help the glare that she sent his way, she knew Titus was only trying to help, to offer guidance as his position dictated, but the very idea of killing Clarke was unfathomable, and even if the blonde was angry with her, she knew Clarke would never work against her.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I will </em><strong><em><b>not</b></em></strong><em> harm Clarke, Titus. End of discussion.” </em>The look on his face told her he wanted to argue but he knew not to push, not now.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Indra return to Tondici and control any rumors, make sure the people know the explosion was not a threat. I am sure a feast will be prepared once news has reached of the maunon’s destruction. Gustus, Anya stay here. Titus Leave us.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Indra and Titus both bowed their heads and promptly left the room. Upon their exit, the brunette visibly deflated and went to half sit, half slouch in her throne.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Leksa this puts her in more danger than she was already in. Once the people realize she is Wanheda, some will seek to kill her simply for her power.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“You think I don’t know that Anya?!” </em>Lexa practically yells, her worry over the blonde overwhelming her emotions.</p><p> </p><p>Gustus having stayed quiet until this point, walked up to lexa and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “<em>Chil au, strikon</em>. <em>We do not support Titus’s claim that you should harm Clarke, but you can not avoid her for fear of her reaction either. She is in danger.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Anya following his lead, took the other side, Lexa was like a little sister to them both. “<em>What are you going to do about it?” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>It was a challenge. A very clear one. Was she going to sit in her throne and  wallow or was she going to find the woman she loves and do everything in her power to protect her. Lexa knew which option she would choose, and she happened to have a lot of power. Before she could answer Titus stormed into the thrown room.</p><p> </p><p>Lexa stood up angrily, “<em>What is the meaning of this Titus?!”</em> She demanded seethingly,</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I apologize Heda,” </em>He didn’t sound in the least bit sorry. “<em>However, Aden and Kaya have chosen to find Wanheda.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Lexa’s eyes widen and she is immediately exiting the thrown room as fast as she can without running, followed quickly by Anya and Gustus. One question clear on everyone’s mind, why the hell would the young <em>natblida</em> leave the tower to find Clarke?</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't have anyone to read this and help me edit, so really any mistakes are mine and mine alone, but I do try to read it over and over and OVER again, and I try to make it perfect for you guys! I also made this chapter longer than usual! So I really hope you enjoy it!</p><p>P.S.. Yellow cheese and Grape Juice for life, I’m absolutely with Clarke on this one guys!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Returning to the drop-ship was not only faster with the vehicles but it was surreal for our favorite 5 who hadn’t been in the real world in so long. They all struggled not to let their excitement show, unsure of how to explain that to the people all softly struggling behind them.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What do we do first when we get there?”</em> Octavia voiced out loud the question most of them were thinking. They had a plan, now was time to implement it.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>We get Monty to his room, he should be able to get the MUOS and MILSTAR satellites up and running, the more pictures we get of Elsa and Anna, the more information we have to work with. If he is too tired it can wait until morning. Honestly, after unloading the supplies most of them will want to sleep. One of us should make dinner, while the others set up the MPT’s and the map table which I want set up along with a pavilion in the clearing just in front of the dropship. Four walls, one entrance, and Raven an electronic key code for the door.” </em>No one had to ask why this was so important, keeping their plans and knowledge from prying eyes was vital. Especially when it came time to include Lexa and Anya, if they have spies, its safe to assume Nia aka Elsa did too.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Considering Raven will set up the MPT’s, Octavia and Lincoln should be the one to set up the pavilion with whatever help they can get, and it should be Klark and I who cook.” </em>Murphy delegated.</p><p> </p><p>Clarke couldn’t fight the smirk, “<em>You’re only saying that because you and I are the only two who nomon actually successfully taught how to cook.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Raven put a hand to her heart in mock offense, “<em>Hey! That Second meal I made was delicious!</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Octavia chimed in, “<em>Oh please! The first meal you made was somehow so burnt, it was even black on the inside!! and the second meal? Sorry Rae but Collecting Berries, </em><strong><b>really</b></strong><em> doesn’t count..”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Clarke, Murphy and Lincoln all had coughed to cover their laughter, but by the look on Raven’s face it was clearly unsuccessful.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>At least I was able to cook without setting my tent on fire!” </em>Raven shot back at Octavia with a glare</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Nomon said it takes skill to do that!” </em>Octavia, clearly offended, half screams</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yeah the skill of a dumb-ass!” </em>Raven quips</p><p> </p><p><em>“Do I need to put you on different sides of the hummer?” </em>Clarke smirks</p><p> </p><p>She hears a couple grumbles but other than that Octavia and Raven choose to simply glare at each other but say nothing more.</p><p> </p><p>Clearing her throat and schooling her expression Clarke added, “<em>I agree with Johnny, it’ll also give Lincoln the time to figure out where Delta team want to stay, I don’t think they’ll be comfortable sleeping in the bunker, nomon said there should be some houses set up outside that work with what they should be used too. Honestly it all comes down to preference. Tomorrow, we follow our usual routine -”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“Wanheda kicks our ass, great.” </em>Raven teases,</p><p> </p><p>Smirking Clarke continues, <em>“and we implement our plan. Also Rae, of course I will kick your asses but the fun part will come when each of you get to train your teams and then kick all their asses.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Raven, Murphy and Octavia all high five silently celebrating the fact that they will finally get to show off their skills while Lincoln smirks.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You can help train the other teams if you want Lincoln, we all know your team will need the least work.” </em>Clarke can’t help but grin at him when he puffs his chest out proudly at her statement.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mochof Wanheda.” </em></p><p>
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</p><p>Exiting the vehicles the delinquents can be heard mumbling, confused about the apparent changes to a place they feel like they just saw yesterday, but Clarke is just glad so far no one has asked - she’s getting hungry and tired and it makes her unbelievably grouchy. Before they exit the vehicle, Murphy offers his wrist and Clarke has never felt more grateful to anyone. After quenching her thirst, She instructs Omega and Beta team to situate the rooms, and bring their supplies into the bunker. </p><p> </p><p>Clarke is the first to enter the metal ship that makes goosebumps raise on her arms, it's been so long since she's actually <em><strong>been</strong></em> here she almost forgot everything they had been through. All the death and turmoil of her friends... <em><strong>of</strong></em> <em><strong>wells</strong></em><em>...</em>the ones that are still buried in the back. The charred remains of the 300 <em>gonas</em> sent to kill them seem to have become dust in their time away, mixing with the dirt and rain to create grass and colorful flowers that weren't there before. She tries to see this as a silver lining but still has to take a few deep breaths as memories threaten to overtake her.</p><p> Pulling up the brand new trap door leading to a sizeable stair case - she notices thankfully that lights seem to come on automatically every 4 steps or else she would be descending into pure darkness. There are five floors under ground - each floor has 60 rooms except the first one, that floor is set aside for Clarke, Raven, Murphy, Lincoln and Octavia with two spare rooms for guests on their floor, and a very large kitchen. It almost reminds Clarke of the commander’s floor, she assumes that is what Becca had in mind.</p><p>All of the rooms minus the first floor, are identical - the first floor difference being they have their own bathrooms per suite and king size beds - each have a queen size bed with two night stands a wardrobe, two chairs and a table. Giving each person space and freedom to decorate their room anyway they choose too, except for Monty. His room is set up with computer monitors, tv screens, keyboards, and technology. Wall mounts filled to almost the brim with spare pieces and wires that will only aid them in their coming endeavors. </p><p>Clarke makes a quick stop at her room to remove her vest. Her room looks almost identical to Lexa's down to the placement of the bathroom, but she has another room. A small room, filled with canvases and brushes. Paints and colorful charcoals. All the things she could have never dreamed of having on the ark, all the things she didn't know existed before being in polis. All the things she never had the time to use before. </p><p>Raven's room is filled with tools, any and every tool she could dream to ask for. The lay out is like Clarke's minus the extra room, Raven didn't feel like she needed it. If Clarke didn't realize there was a method to the madness she would simply be disgusted by the way the mechanics work benches seem to hold nothing but exaggerated chaos, but ask Raven where a tool is and she can immediately pinpoint it's location, </p><p>Murphy believe it or not has a passion for wood working, it isn't something he plans to trade or use professionally, but he found that it helps his mind settle when memories threaten to overwhelm him. Which is something that happens to all of them frequently. Each found in their own way, somehow to take the pain away, even if only for a little while and Clarke makes it no secret that she keeps the palm sized racoon carving he made for her right next to her head while she sleeps. </p><p>Lincoln of course, let Octavia be in charge of their room design and the warrior went a little crazy with weapons - swords, daggers, staffs, katanas, throwing knives, throwing stars, heavy battle axes and more are hung up on each wall in her room, displayed like trophies even though they've never been removed, never used, never would be. </p><p>Upon entering the kitchen, Clarke grabs one of the many black aprons hung up on the hooks to the right - this one saying 'kiss the cook' in bright white letters - and quickly adorns it before deciding on something simple, meat paddies and gravy and roasted brown sugar carrots. She wastes little time pulling out her ingredients and barely looks up when she hears Murphy make his way inside - wearing a similar apron but his says 'Chicks dig Cooks'</p><p>Quickly washing his hands he jumps in, helping Clarke cut up the carrots, "Alright Princess, what are we making?"  </p><p>"I figured we could make <em>nomon's</em> meat paddies with gravy and roasted -" </p><p>"Brown sugar carrots?! Ah, yes!" Murphy exclaims, practically salivating at the mouth, </p><p>Clarke giggles before leaving him to the chopping, making quick work of putting the gravy on. They spend the next half hour in a fluid like dance, working with and around each other, never interrupting the flow but even when working separately always managing to finish together. A crashing realization stops the blonde in her tracks and she places both hands palm down on the counter, to steady herself, shoulders hunched over. </p><p>"It's our first night sleeping without them.." She practically whispers, but he can hear her. She knows he can. Clarke usually found herself falling asleep in one of her parents lap with her hair being played with soothing any worries and fears she may have, they would always transfer her to her bed in the middle of the night and she found she had fewer nightmares this way. </p><p>"How am I gonna fall asleep, Johnny?" Murphy can hear the broken tone, and he knows he isn't the only one missing Becca and Keenai. It feels like they left home to go to a strange place with unknown dangers, but isn't that exactly what they did? </p><p>As if sensing the blonde's pain, Octavia and Raven walk in not even a minute later - interrupting anything he may have said, and the three girls wrap each other in a hug. Murphy watches as his sisters release silent tears, the realization having hit them all simultaneously it seems, and he swallows hard around the painful lump in his throat that wont go away. He wants to cry with them, he should, he <em><strong>can, </strong></em>but he doesn't. He needs to be strong for them - be the strength they need when they can no longer hold the weight of the world on their shoulders. </p><p>So instead he closes his eyes, forcing himself not to feel it, not to let it in, to be <em><strong>strong</strong></em>…until he feels multiple sets of arms pull him into the hug and he remembers. He remembers that their strength is their family. They <em><strong>break together,</strong> </em><em><strong>mourn together, cry together, fight together and come back stronger - TOGETHER.</strong></em></p><p>They stay that way for awhile, knowing that it wasn't long enough, but when is it ever? They were back - back on the ground, back in the real world - and that meant they just didn't have the <em><strong>time.</strong></em> But that would change, they would make it change. Maybe they had a war to fight, maybe the whole world was against them but they couldn't care less, because finally....Finally, it's time to start <em><strong>living.</strong></em></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Dinner was an uneventful affair, most too quiet and tired to comment, moving into their respective rooms and carrying in the supplies from the mountain taking the little energy most had left. As soon as they made it outside they engulfed Lincoln in a giant hug, all four of them, ignoring the curious glances, ignoring the whispers. He wouldn't cry, they knew that, he may be a sensitive gentle giant but he was still a grounder through and through - but he needed that hug as much as they did. </p><p>There was no usual chatter between our five, no giggles or smiles, the excitement had faded and turned into melancholy. It was a switch that flipped so quickly they weren't sure how to deal with it, at least not in front of so many others. So instead they ate, they sat quietly together, drawing strength off each other, until Raven of course breaks the silence. </p><p>"Remember the first time <em>nomon</em> made this?" She asks quietly</p><p>"How could we forget? They were <em><strong>supposed </strong></em>to be roasted carrots." Murphy chuckles,</p><p>"They are!" Raven gasps offendedly,</p><p>"She only added brown sugar because you refused to touch them." Lincoln adds with a smile, its small but its a start</p><p>"I stand by my original comment, things that are orange or green <em><strong>should not be eaten!"</strong></em> Raven dramatically exclaims</p><p>"What about oranges?" Octavia chimes in</p><p>"Those don't count, they're chewable juice packs!" Raven wastes no time pointing out like it was obvious</p><p>"What about cheese?" Clarke chimes in,</p><p>"Cheese is fine as long as its white!" The mechanic demands</p><p>"Wh-Ew!" Clarke blanches, "Yellow cheese, Rae. It has to be <strong>yellow.</strong>" </p><p>"Look here <em><strong>Wanheda!</strong></em> I don't care what you say, White cheese is the only cheese!" </p><p>"Yellow!"</p><p>"White!"</p><p>"YELLOW!" </p><p>"WHITE!!"</p><p>The heated cheese discussion goes on for about ten minutes, effectively breaking the tension as Octavia, Murphy and Lincoln watch them go back and forth with barely concealed amusement.</p><p>"Alright, you both win!" Octavia finally interrupts with an eye roll, only receiving harrumphs in response. </p><p>As quickly as dinner started it ended, and one by one they watched as everyone dispersed. They knew it wouldn't be so easy tomorrow. Not when their energy was back up and their brains were equipped to understand the events. </p><p>"I think Bell-Boy will be our biggest problem.." Murphy whispers to his siblings, </p><p>"Me too.." Clarke agrees rolling her eyes, "You gonna be okay if I have to kick your brothers ass, O?" </p><p>"Yeah it's kind of expected. Don't kill him, ya know just maim him a little." The young warrior doesn't hesitate to reply. She expects Bellamy to be a problem as well, always wanting to be in charge but never knowing how to make the big decisions, never making the correct ones when he does. The only time she ever respected Bellamy was when he finally conceded to second in command under Clarke, but he proved to be a follower when he drank Pikes Kool-Aid. </p><p>As the last of their people head to bed, they follow, the exhaustion hitting them like a truck. They waste no time changing into their Pajamas, soft sweat pants and tank tops before - like an unspoken agreement - they all meet in Clarke's room. Octavia and Lincoln take one side of the bed, while Murphy Raven and Clarke take the other. </p><p>Clarke's little racoon statue is on the nightstand by her bed while she curls up into Murphy, laying her head on his chest, face right next to Ravens as she takes the other side, the blondes back up against Octavia's. Clarke reaches out and grabs Ravens hand in the dark, her other hand gripping Octavia's. It wasn't the most comfortable position for all of them, but they took comfort in each other, knowing that the days would only get longer, and they would only get harder. </p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Clarke woke up early, she always did. It was like she had an alarm clock inside her waking her up automatically with the sun. She wasted little time hopping in the shower, slipping on a pair of comfortable black leggings and a white sports bra before heading to the kitchen to grab a granola bar and some grape juice. </p><p>She didn't know who looked at a grape one day and decided to smash a bunch together for their insides but it was one of the best discoveries she thinks was ever made - well after art supplies and <em><strong>yellow</strong></em>cheese of course. </p><p>They didn't have any official training ground set up yet, they hadn't accomplished much when they returned and after dinner everyone seemed to crash, but she still knew where they had their weapons, the ones not hung on Octavia's walls. </p><p>She didn't bother adorning her swords or daggers, but she did bring them out to lay close by, and she started her warm ups. Pushups, sit ups, pull ups - using a tree branch of course - knee highs, jumping jacks and planks were a way to loosen her muscles, ready her body. Her siblings joined her not long after she started, and they all went through the motions. Back and front flips follow directly after, 20 front and 20 back, and she took pride in noting none of them broke a sweat, they didn't struggle. No, this was easy for them. As easy as taking a casual stroll. </p><p>Finishing with sprints they each grabbed a staff, and slipped into a peaceful series of moves. Methodic and extensive, complex and complacent. It was calming, it was temperate, it was euphoric. They didn't acknowledge the crowd they had gathered, they barely heard the confused and excited whispers surrounding them. They were in their own little world, in their own little bubble, until it popped. </p><p>"Lets do this!" Raven yelled startling the delinquents and causing the others to roll their eyes. </p><p>The mechanic wasted no time in attacking, attempting to swipe Octavia's feet out from under her, the warrior only just managing to jump over the staff and on the balls of her feet - move away. "Nice try!" She replied smugly, only for Clarke to have her on her back so fast most hadn't even seen her move.</p><p>"Always be aware of your surroundings," Clarke chastised playfully before spinning out of the way of murphy's attack, their staffs connecting with a loud <em><strong>Thwack!</strong></em></p><p>"That all you got?" Clarke taunted, trying to make them angry. It was a useful tactic, having control over your emotions in a fight was one of the most important parts. Without control you make rash decisions out of anger and frustration. </p><p>The blonde pushed her staff forward, effectively forcing Murphy away before dodging a strike to the head from Raven and one to the thigh from Lincoln. </p><p>"No head shots, Rae!" Octavia seethed, </p><p>"Like it was gonna connect any-OW!" Clarke's staff hit Raven in the ass with another loud <strong>Thwack!</strong> </p><p>"No excuses, follow the rules!" The blonde demanded, dodging another hit from Murphy. </p><p>It was clear after that - Clarke was their target, she always was. Sure they would add in little strikes and blows to each other, mostly to feel a sense of accomplishment, but they would all gang up on Clarke. They never won, but it wouldn't stop them from trying. Today was no different, all it took was another ten minutes of the blonde easily dodging their attacks, the staff becoming an extension of her so effortlessly, performing complex moves, flips and dodges that, yes they may have all learned, but they still never managed to get a single hit on her! </p><p>After being knocked on her back - and ass - six times, Raven was the first to call it quits - grumbling about being too old for this shit. </p><p>Murphy was next, after a particularly hard fall that the blonde made sure to inform him he would be healed from, no if's ands or buts about it, Raven demanded she be healed as well after that. They were careful not to say this too loudly, or to even give any indication as to what they were referring too. </p><p>Surprising them all, Lincoln went down next, respectfully bowing out, Clarke assumed he was doing it for Octavia's benefit, to elevate her more than she already was - and she couldn't help but love her brother more for it. He was an amazing partner. It only made her miss Lexa that much more.. <em><strong>Lexa</strong></em>, So close but so far away. Polis was easily a three day ride, faster with the vehicles but she promised she would wait. She just never imagined how hard that promise would be to keep, she should have in hind sight. </p><p>She was so lost in her thoughts she almost didn't see the staff ready to smash into her ribs, she almost didn't jump right over it, she almost didn't disarm Octavia and send her flying on the ground, her staff at her throat effectively ending their match. But she definitely heard the enraged, "Clarke!" Coming from behind her, and she met Octavia's eyes, both knowing exactly who that was, before reaching down and helping her up. </p><p>The blonde didn't bother to turn around, she simply walked over to where Raven was holding out a water bottle for her and took it, chugging it down. </p><p>"Don't ignore me Clarke!" Bellamy seethed, stomping up to the blonde. Lincoln and Murphy stepped in his way, effectively stopping him. "Oh so what?! You need body guards now, Princess?! After beating up on my little sister you can't face me yourself?!" </p><p>She didn't offer him a reply, he didn't deserve one. She knew she would have to put him in his place eventually, but for now she would allow Octavia the honor, knowing she would be seething from the overprotective bullshit going on right now. </p><p>"I can handle myself if you haven't noticed Bell!" As if on command the brunette appeared behind her brother, grabbing his wrist and pulling him away from the fuming men. </p><p>"What I <em><strong>saw</strong></em>was her laying you flat on your ass and no one touches my little sister. <em><strong>MY SISTER. MY RESPONSIBILITY." </strong></em> Bellamy bellowed, and Clarke's eyes turned black. </p><p>Raven noticed immediately, subtly trying to pull the blonde back towards the drop ship, far away from the older Blake who didn't understand what he was saying, didn't understand what would happen if he didn't shut the hell up, didn't understand just <em><strong>who</strong></em>he was challenging. </p><p>Octavia noticed as well, quickly hurrying to catch up to the blonde, knowing exactly what she thought after hearing those words. The same thing running through her mind, the last time Bellamy had said that same exact thing. The last time he had basically blamed her for being born, for ruining his life, for being a burden. It would have hurt her, if she hadn't known her family would never and had never seen her that way. </p><p>"Clarke, Clarke, Hey-" She is immediately pulled into a hug so tight she thinks her lungs might burst, </p><p>"You are our family. You are <em><strong>my</strong></em> family. You are loved and I could not ask for better sisters." Clarke mumbles in her ear, vibrating with anger, she continues whispering assurances, in both English and Trigedasleng until she finally calms down, until black finally disappears welcoming bright blue once again. </p><p>"I know Clarke it's okay, I love you guys. You're my family." Octavia assures, returning the bone crushing hug. </p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>For three days things are relatively calm, Clarke finds she takes great amusement in watching each team practice. They haven't gotten to weapons yet, she wants too, honestly she does. With everyone coming up especially, they'll need to know how, but watching them pathetically attempt the 10 push ups, sit ups, and 3 sets of 10 second planks they require of them each morning hurts her head. </p><p>They'll get there, she reassures herself. As promised, Delta team is at a skill level just below that of our five, Clarke finds herself itching to spar with them but holds off on it for now, she spends most of her time watching, advising, correcting, leading. Delta and Alpha team have been working on setting up the pavilion they need. </p><p>The blonde decides not to tell Monty about their plan yet, letting him tinker with his technology without being told exactly why he has it, at least until everything is set up and they're ready. More prepared. </p><p>It's that third day when things go unexpectedly, when she is in her room, painting a portrait of Lexa, trying to convince herself for the hundredth time that she's making the right decision. That going to see her in Polis would rouse suspicions, would cause more problems than it would fix, especially if she killed Titus. She bit back a snarl. Just thinking his name was enough to set her off, she definitely wasn't ready to see him. </p><p>Suddenly someone barges into her room and she can't hold back her growl of irritation, </p><p>"Clarke!" Raven yells, and Clarke can hear the confusion and urgency in her tone. Cutting her growl off immediately, she throws on her boots and rushes out to meet her, "Rae? What's wrong?" </p><p>"There's - It's - I mean, you just -" And she makes an impatient noise in the back of her throat storming out of the room, leaving little question she wants her to follow and Clarke wastes no time sprinting after her, taking the stairs two at a time. </p><p>Outside there is a crowd, it seems whatever is happening everyone is standing around and waiting - for her most likely. She shoves her way through only to stop, heart suddenly deep in her throat. Standing in front of her are Aiden and Kaya, the two <em>natblida</em> who stole her heart, the two <em>natblida</em> she practically claimed as her own, the twelve and four year old she saw as <em><strong>hers</strong></em>. What were they doing here? </p><p>"Clarke...?" Kaya asked tentatively, testing...dirty blonde hair pulled back into multiple braids</p><p>"Kaya?" Clarke asked just as unsure, until she caught her mid jump, until she felt little arms and legs surrounding her, until she felt Aiden hug them both from the side, and Clarke honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Moving away from the crowd, she kept them firmly attached to her. "What are you both doing here?" She demands. It isn't like she isn't happy to see them, but to leave Polis?! </p><p>"We woke up and you weren't there.. we were alone in the tower.." Aiden practically whispered, she knew he was holding back tears. His training as commander leaving him emotionally stunted similar to Lexa, but she also knew she had helped him a lot with this, that the fact that he was clinging to her was already progress. </p><p>"Lexa is there," She points out fighting the flinch at the brunette's name. </p><p>"She doesn't remember..." Kaya starts to cry into her shoulder, and she feels her heart break. </p><p>"We can't sleep, we keep remembering what happened, what <em><strong>she </strong></em>did, and we don't feel safe without you.." Aiden again whispers his fears, like he thinks they make him weak for admitting them</p><p>"Hey, it's okay. I'm here now. Both of you, I will never let anyone hurt you ever again - I am so so sorry I couldn't stop her.. but I swear to you, no one will ever hurt you." She promises with conviction, feeling her anger build as she thinks about all the things she will do once she finally has her hands on Ontari. </p><p>"Can we stay? Please?" They ask in unison and Clarke already knew when she saw there timid faces that she would never be able to turn them away. She doesn't say anything, she simply hugs them tighter and leads them to her room, helping them both change into a too big night shirt for Kaya and a pair of Murphy's sweats and a tank top for Aiden before tucking them into her bed. </p><p>"We aren't tired." Aiden pouts, stifling a yawn. She hears a tiny, "yeah" but sees Kayas brown eyes already starting to droop. </p><p>"You aren't?" She inquires feigning innocence, receiving only furious head shakes from each </p><p>"Alright you can stay awake.." She shrugs, grabbing her supplies out of her art room, she sits on the end of the bed to finish her portrait, not once looking up at the children struggling to stay awake. Instead she gets comfortable, and she sings..</p><p>
  <strong>Stay awake...Don't rest your head</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Don't lie down upon your bed..</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>While the moon drifts in the skies</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Stay awake, don't close your eyes.</strong>
</p><p>She doesn't pay attention when Octavia and Raven sneak into the room behind her, she is too focused on the children whose eyes are steadily drooping, heads lulling into the pillow. </p><p>
  <strong>Though the world is fast asleep</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Though your pillow is soft and deep</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You're not sleepy as you seem</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Stay awake, don't nod and dream..</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Stay.. Awake...Don't nod...and...Dream.</strong>
</p><p>She doesn't need to look up to know they fell asleep, she doesn't need to look behind her to know that Octavia and Raven and both coming to join them. She simply sets her stuff aside and lays down between the little ones. Enjoying the way they seem to instinctively curl into her, fingers running through their hair like <em>nomon</em> always did to her. </p><p>Raven climbed in behind Aiden while Octavia climbed in behind Kaya, both placing comforting hands upon their back. They couldn't take away their memories, but they could make them feel safe. They could <em><strong>ensure</strong></em>their safety, and they would. Clarke would, even if she has to take them to Polis herself and crush that Flame keeper with her bare hands. For them? She would. </p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>If any of them had been paying attention, if they hadn't been so distracted, if they hadn't been so focused on the arrival of the tiny <em>nightbloods</em>, if they hadn't been so focused on their training, on building, on well <em><strong>anything,</strong></em> maybe someone would have noticed the shadow lingering in the forest. Maybe someone would have noticed the way he watched Clarke - watched each and every interaction, obsessed over what to do meticulously changing his mind, bouncing from one sinister idea to the next. </p><p>In the end it was clear, Jasper Jordan wanted to destroy Clarke Griffin. but was it that simple? No, it really wasn't, because he didn't <em><strong>just</strong></em> wanna destroy her. Oh no, he wanted her to hurt, he wanted her to feel his pain. He wanted to take away everything she loved until she begged for death. Then and only then would he give it to her. She was a murdering bitch who didn't deserve to be happy! Not when she was the reason he had lost Maya... He gripped the pistole in his hand tighter when he felt the familiar ache in his chest just thinking her name. Taking a long chug of the bottle of moonshine he had brought with him - well really he had brought several. He hadn't been able to stop drinking since watching her die, he had only one thing on his mind - revenge. And so he watched, and waited after deciding he had no reason to stay in Camp Jaha.  No reason to live really, except one. One reason. One thought. One purpose. </p><p>After all, revenge is a dish best served cold, no?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright! I know this was a bit over due but I really wanted it to be perfect. As for Jasper, I wanted to really delve into his thoughts. Not make you feel bad for him because I definitely don't but really make you see how far he's fallen into his insomnia, anger and hatred. Misplaced as it is. I added a song! That was requested by one of my readers and I couldn't argue because the song was so perfect to the situation. I edited it just a bit to make it shorter but other than that I loved the scene! I absolutely love the idea of Clarke claiming Aiden and Kaya as her own, I hope you do too but if not. That's fine. It's still staying that way! (: Again, shout out to Disappointment1 for all their help!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>LEXA POV</p><p>"<em>Heda! Heda! Wait!" </em>Titus yelled after her, following closely behind as herself, Anya and Gustus all strode with purpose to the lift. She kept walking, ignoring the desperate way he seemed to beg her to stop. She could only focus on two things. Why had the nightbloods left and why had they gone to see Clarke? </p><p>Clarke had never been to Polis, the nightbloods shouldn't even be <em><strong>aware</strong></em> of the <em>Wanheda, </em>yet. The messenger had only arrived a few hours ago. She was missing something, a key piece to this puzzle and she<em><strong> hated</strong></em> that. As <em>Heda</em> there were very few things she didn't have control over, and she <em><strong>hated</strong></em> being out of control. </p><p>"LEXA!" He screeched and she finally stilled, seething inwardly. She tries to remind herself this is his job, guide her, advise her, but even she knows he is pushing his luck. Pushing his authority. </p><p>"What?" She spits out between gritted teeth, locking eyes with him as she assumes her commander pose, hands locked behind her back and chin held high. </p><p>"You do not need to go and fetch the <em>goufas</em> yourself! Send guards! Send Anya! Do not go, <em>Heda</em>." </p><p>Lexa didn't miss the look in his eyes, and that's when she realized this wasn't about the children at all, he didn't care if she went after them. He wanted to keep her far away from Clarke. </p><p>"What is this really about, Titus?" She challenged, taking a step in his direction, pleased when she saw him take one back. </p><p>"I beg of you, Lexa, remember my teach-" Lexa cut him off with a simple raise of her hand. </p><p>"Enough of this, Titus. That. Is. Enough." Lexa was tired of hearing that love was weakness, she knows! She knows Clarke is her weakness, she knows how weak the blonde makes her. If that was such a bad thing why did it make her feel right? </p><p>Everyday she spent loving Clarke she knew she was getting weaker and weaker, but she was also happier, lighter, colors were brighter and sounds sharper. No, she would do something for Lexa - for once. Not for her people, or for the commander. She was going to Clarke because there was no where else she would rather be. And if that made her weak she was ready to embrace it.</p><hr/><p>The young nightbloods stayed practically glued to Clarke's side after they had all woke from their nap. She didn't mind in the slightest, making slight adjustments to some of their clothing to ensure it would fit the children. Dressed in matching black T-shirts and shorts they almost looked like normal children. Minus the stoicism they tried to display in front of the delinquents. </p><p>It didn't take our favorite five long to break them of that, soon they were all laughing together - the added additions seemed to have healed some of the cracks forming in their hearts. Helping with the pavilion and even shadowing Clarke while she oversaw training. </p><p>Clarke didn't know what Murphy and Lincoln said to Bellamy after the trio had left them alone but Bellamy seemed to avoid her like the plague, only sending seething glares in her direction when he thought she wasn't looking. She tried asking them but they swore they were innocent - <em>innocent my ass</em>, was her only response to that.</p><p>It had only been four days and the delinquents were already adjusting to their morning workouts, they still sweat, swore, and of course, their breathing sounded like they just finished running down the block with a severe case of smokers lung but it was progress. They actually finished their workouts, and when she announced she would add more to accommodate there was a collective groan. </p><p>Clarke was sure they would hate her eventually, but they would also thank her in the coming war. She had little doubt of that. </p><p>When she was sitting with Raven and Octavia after their own training, sweat dripping down each of their bodies, Kaya came over and sat in her lap. Laying her head on her sweat covered tank top, but Clarke didn't mind. She simply wrapped her arms around the young girl and let her self soothe. </p><p>She knew this was something Kaya and Aiden just needed sometimes. They hadn't spent enough time learning to just <em><strong>be</strong></em>, in the last life. She had tried, of course, but just like Lexa years of being told not to show emotion won in the end - but she counted the progress they made because it <em><strong>was</strong></em> progress, after all. Kaya was easier, she took to Clarke like a child to a mother - which warmed the blonde's heart. Aiden was harder, he cried but only when he thought no one was looking. He whispered his fears and refused to meet her eye like he would see mockery or judgement in them. </p><p>He came to her, which was a huge win - he was trying and Clarke loved him all the more for that. So when he came over to join a few minutes later she simply made room for him between her legs. Holding them both close, letting them listen to her heart beat - she knew it calmed them to know she was alive. To be able to see and hear and smell that she was alive. </p><p>The new instincts she possessed when it came to them confused her, it couldn't be a <em>Wanheda</em> skill, there was a lot she knew the commander of death was capable of but parenting wasn't in the handbook. Raven and Octavia told her it was natural parental instincts, because they were hers, even if not biologically. </p><p>"<em>Would you like to talk about it?" </em>She simply whispered in their ears, close enough for both to hear. Rubbing calm circles on their backs and casually running her fingers through both sets of dirty blonde hair. </p><p>Surprising even himself, Aiden was the one to speak up, "<em>I missed you so much.." </em>He whispered and she didn't know if he was hoping she heard him, or hoping she hadn't. </p><p>"<em>There isn't a day that went by that I didn't think about or miss you and Kaya, strikon. You, Lexa and Kaya are my family just as much as the others." </em>She pulled them closer, feeling the first few tears leak from his little face while Kaya buried her face in her neck. </p><p>Clarke struggled so much during the transition, years and years spent waiting and wondering and worrying. She knows the others did too, PTSD and nightmares follow them all. She can't imagine how that must be in the children. She knows she can't take it from them, but she also knows she would. In a heartbeat. </p><p>"<em>I love you nomi," </em>Aiden again whispers, but this time in her ear and she can't stop the tears that threaten to fall because he had only called her that once before and she didn't realize that she needed to hear it. That as much as they were hers, she was there's. </p><p>"<em>I love you nomi." </em>Kaya also whispered, and Clarke fought back a sob. </p><p>"<em>I love you, my children."</em> She murmured, and closed her eyes enjoying their clinging. Enjoy this moment. <em><strong>Needing</strong></em> this moment more than she realized. </p><p>Feeling two hands on her shoulders she looked up to see Octavia and Raven, unshed tears in their own eyes. Except this time they all wanted to cry tears of happiness because how could they not be happy like this? They still had so much to figure out, a war to fight, confrontations to be had, but this - this is what will make it all worth it. <em><strong>Their family.</strong></em> </p><p>Soon, Murphy and Lincoln joined, each sitting around the trio. Most of the delinquents were testing their luck with staffs, closely monitored by Delta Team who took great pleasure in being praised for their skill by <em>Wanheda</em> herself. And they took it as an honor that she trusted them enough to help train the delinquents, who looked like bumbling idiots in comparison to everyone else in the camp. </p><p>Clarke didn't open her eyes, she didn't lift her head which was resting comfortably against Aidens that was on her shoulder while Kaya had her face buried in her neck, no she just smiled to herself and started to sing. </p><p>
  <em> <strong>I know water that's thicker than blood that's deeper than love with my friends.</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>People come and some people go and, some people ride 'til the end.</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>When I am blind, in my mind, I swear they'd be my rescue, my lifeline.</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>I don't know what I'd do if I'd, if I'd survive, My brothers and my sisters in my life. </strong> </em>
</p><p>Soon enough, Octavia and Murphy had joined in..</p><p>
  <em> <strong>I know some people they would die for me, We run together they're my family</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>When I get up they gon' be high with me, Ill stay forever my family.</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Ill stay forever my family..</strong> </em>
</p><p>Raven really tried not to join in, <em><strong>really she did! </strong></em>She didn't want to be the typical sitcom family who had a cheesy over emotional moment and finished it off with a song, but she couldn't fight the emotion. Because they <em><strong>were</strong></em> family, they <em><strong>would</strong></em> die for each other. <em><strong>Her sisters</strong></em>, <em><strong>Her brothers</strong></em>. Anya, her love. Her Niece and Nephew because of <em><strong>course</strong></em>, they claimed them too. Who wouldn't? </p><p>
  <em> <strong>Stolen dreams took our, our childish days still, ain't nothing changed now we're grown.</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>We're still young, still got our mindless ways and a timeless phase kicking stones.</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>When I am blind, in my mind, I swear they'd be my rescue, my lifeline.</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>I don't know what I'd do if I'd, if I'd survive. My brothers and my sisters in my life.</strong></em>
</p><p><em>Everyone was looking at Lincoln now, three sets of wide blue puppy eyes from Clarke, Aiden and Kaya. Two sets of wide green puppy eyes from Murphy and Octavia and, wide brown puppy eyes from Raven - who stopped trying to fight the way she just felt </em><strong>safe</strong> with her little family. Lincoln simply rolled his eyes with a small fond smile and started to sing along. </p><p>
  <em> <strong>Yeah... I know some people they would die for me, We run together they're my family</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>When I get up they gon' be high with me, Ill stay forever my family..</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Ill stay forever my family..</strong> </em>
</p><hr/><p>JASPERS POV</p><p>Jasper watched and seethed as he saw Clarke laughing and singing, with those <em><strong>children</strong></em><em>. </em>He knew they were no good, they were <em><strong>grounders</strong></em>, after all. Yet here Clarke was, after murdering innocent people, laughing it up with the enemy. He saw her fight, he knew there was no way he would stand a chance against her. Whatever kind of <em><strong>freak show</strong></em> she was now, but bullets didn't have to be close to do damage and he didn't care if he lived or died, as long as she could finally feel his pain before his life ended.</p><p>He couldn't stand to see them all, happy as they were. He knows that would have been him if Maya was still alive. Jasper lets his mind wander. Would they have kissed under a waterfall? or maybe outside the door when he had finally rescued everyone? Emerging the hero <em><strong>he knew</strong></em> he would have been - if not for that stupid <em><strong>princess! </strong></em>Would they have went on a real date? He had read about them on the ark - people in the old world would go to dinner or a movie. Would they have had sex? He was really sorry he missed out on that, he should have made a move. Made his intentions clear. Holding hands was fine but he knew he wanted more and he lost his chance to have it.</p><p>He never even got the chance to kiss Maya, he was too much of a coward. He takes several more chugs of moonshine in bitterness, before he continues to day dream. Wondering if she would have stayed at Camp Jaha with him or maybe he would have stayed in the Mountain with her. They had <em><strong>cake</strong></em>after all, and before Clarke ruined everything they had it <em><strong>so good.</strong></em> Beds, real honest to god food, no fighting, no arguing, clean clothes. <em><strong>Showers!</strong></em> Yeah he definitely would have argued to stay with Maya in the mountain. </p><p>Either way, they could have figured it out, he loved her, of that he was sure. She made him feel things, a tingling in his belly he had never felt before - well, except towards Octavia but she never returned his affections. Instead settling for a <em><strong>grounder, </strong></em>he thought bitterly. He knew Octavia could do better, <em><strong>deserved </strong></em>better - but whatever, he had Maya. Or he <em><strong>did</strong></em>. He gulped down another three chugs squeezing his eyes shut.</p><p>He knew he should slow down, he hadn't eaten much after all, just a few slices of whatever he stole out of the cafeteria and some berries he grabbed on his way here. He had little appetite these days, and when was the last time he slept? He couldn't actually remember, but his tolerance had been building and he only had a minor headache so he didn't think he was too far gone. Yet again his mind wandered - Would they have confessed their love to each other? He likes to think he would have become brave enough to say it, his confidence had increased when he was in there. Without the <em><strong>poison</strong></em> that was <em><strong>Clarke Griffin.</strong></em> He knew he even became some what of a leader, taking the initiative. Ensuring that the others knew they could trust the mountain men. Knew that they were safe.</p><p><em><strong>Okay,</strong></em> <em><strong>so </strong></em><em><strong>yeah</strong></em>,<em><strong> he had been wrong, </strong></em>but he is sure that was Clarke's fault somehow too. Everything seems to always be her fault. She's the plague, unlucky, ruining everything for the rest of them. Maybe he and Maya would have had a spring wedding? Maybe in the meadow outside the Mountain? Had children? He had never wanted them, especially not <em><strong>only </strong></em>one but they were on the ground now, they could have as many children as they wanted! The idea excited him but the small flare of emotion was quickly doused as fast as it had ignited. </p><p>Of course Clarke had to destroy that for him, any chance he had of being a husband and a father. Yeah he had only known Maya for six weeks, but she was his <em><strong>soulmate</strong></em> for fucks sake, he was <em><strong>positive!</strong></em> </p><p>Jasper saw Clarke walking with those little two <em><strong>bastards</strong></em> following her like she was someone important, like she was a <em><strong>leader</strong></em> or a <em><strong>role model. </strong></em>He could feel his anger building, and the 5 bottles of moonshine he had chugged were not helping him clear his head. Instead he raised his gun, cocking it. It would only take one bullet, one shot, and all of this would be over. HE could be <em><strong>free</strong></em>. But Jasper still wasn't sure where to point it, who to target, who would really <strong>hurt! </strong>There were too many possibilities. </p><p>He shook his head to clear it and pointed at Clarke, he so desperately wanted to pull the trigger, so much so that his hand was shaking as he fought with himself. One bullet aimed right at her head and fighter or not, she would be gone. And then he could do the same to himself. That's what he really wanted in the end. To kill them both. They both deserved it. They both needed it. But he couldn't. Not her, Not yet. She needed to <em><strong>suffer</strong></em>. </p><p><strong>Eenie...</strong> He turned the barrel on Octavia watching as she giggled at something Lincoln whispered in her ear</p><p><strong>Meenie...</strong> he pointed it at Raven watching how she sunk down on a tree stump, grumbling after landing on her ass <em><strong>again.</strong></em></p><p><strong>Miney...</strong> he pointed it at Lincoln as he smiled at the blonde, watching as she bent down to talk to the children.</p><p><strong>Mo...</strong> he pointed it at Murphy who was standing off to the side scanning the woods, he wanted to scoff or yell, <em><strong>Im standing right here dumbass!</strong></em> but he didn't. </p><p>Instead he continued to move the barrel over them all, watching them interact, watching, waiting to see who would hurt her more - When suddenly a lightbulb went off, who would hurt the princess the most? Yes, her friends would hurt, but they lost plenty of those. He needed her to die inside, he needed her to wish for death, beg him to kill her. </p><p>He fixed his aim on the little blonde haired girl smiling up at Clarke, and he knew he had chosen right. Who would hurt her more than the life of an innocent that she actually cared about? That she actually knew? That she actually <em><strong>loved? </strong></em></p><p>He smiled maliciously to himself, finishing off his last bottle of moonshine before he simply pulled the trigger. Watching helplessly as it sailed with lightning speed at the little girl and he wondered when he would start to feel better? When he would feel that spark of happiness for his revenge? When he would hear her begging for death? But all he felt was hollow, empty, and all he could do was continue to watch. </p><hr/><p>Clarke heard the bullet leave the gun and froze, her body immediately reacting. Eyes turning a dark black as things began to move in slow motion. She cursed herself; They had gotten complacent, forgetting about the dangers constantly surrounding them. Not just the war they had yet to face, but so many others and now someone she loved was in danger because of her lack of foresight. </p><p>She zeroed in on the bullet - watching as it sailed at the smiling little blonde girl looking at her completely oblivious to the danger barreling right at her tiny form. Clarke didn't hesitate, she simply moved and before anyone realized what had happened she was shielding the tiny body with her own. Grunting as two bullets sunk into her back. </p><p>Time was frozen for only a few seconds before chaos seemed to erupt around Clarke and the little nightblood. Kaya - still unaware as to what happened from her position buried in Clarke's body, simply clung to her, hiding her face in her neck as Clarke focused on her breathing. </p><p>Her senses were working in overdrive - her anger temporarily abated by her need to ensure her family was okay. She looked around her and saw as Delta team started forming a protective circle around her, Aiden and Kaya. Aiden was watching her with wide tear filled eyes and she wasted no time pulling him into her arms with Kaya. </p><p>She had yet to speak, but she tried to reassure him with her eyes. She would live, she was okay, she needed to feed. Clarke smelled them before she saw them - her siblings slowly making their way towards her, staying in her vision with every step. They knew she wouldn't hurt them, not consciously at least. </p><p>"Let us take them Clarke.." Octavia whispered, reaching a hand out for the two nightbloods. </p><p>Clarke started to growl, she didn't want too. She didn't mean too, but <em><strong>someone</strong></em> had tried to hurt Kaya. Someone that she still hadn't found. With that in mind she reluctantly let Octavia grab Kaya while Raven hugged Aiden and she let loose. </p><p>Her eyes took on a slight yellow glow and her fangs elongated. Clarke scented the air; immediately noting the scent that didn't belong. The bitter smell of perspiration, booze and anger. She was running with inhumane speed before anyone realized she had moved, and before the scared boy had a chance to realize it, she was on him. Knocking the gun out of his hand so hard she heard a couple of his fingers crack with the force. </p><p>She grabbed Jaspers throat holding him up in the air growling menacingly. She didn't talk, she couldn't. She was lost in her fury and anger. Drowning in the need <em><strong>to protect. </strong></em></p><p>She tried shaking her head to clear it but her thoughts were drowned out with the same thought - slamming into her mind over and over and over again. </p><p>
  <em> <strong>Protect them! Protect them! Protect them! Protect them! </strong> </em>
</p><p>"Wh-What are you?" Jasper choked out in a hoarse whisper, she was clamping down on his wind pipe after all. </p><p>At this the fog cleared and an evil smirk replaced all thoughts, "You're worst nightmare." She self proclaimed before sinking her fangs into his throat. She felt her body reacting to the blood, she felt as it headed exactly where she needed it. Pushing the bullets out of her body while healing the wounds that now were none existent - but she didn't stop. No, she drank and she drank and she drank until she felt him weaken. </p><p>Until she knew that if she drank one more sip he would die and only then did she let go. That was too easy a death for him. She dragged him by the back of his shirt to the drop ship. Ignoring Monty, Harper, Bellamy and Monroe as they all tried to talk to her. Snarling viscously until they got out of her face calling Delta team to encase her as she dragged his pathetic practically lifeless corpse to a tree in the middle of the camp.</p><p>As if they knew her intentions, one of the Delta members, Erik, came up and offered her some rope and a blindfold and she tied him to the tree. Tight enough to hurt but loose enough not to cause permanent damage until she was ready to do so. She then instructed them to guard him, no one was to come close to him unless it was her. </p><p>If he woke and started screaming, they were to gag him and with that she stormed off to her room, where Kaya and Aiden were already waiting for her. She pulled them into another hug, running her fingers through their hair as they clung to her. She knew she needed to bathe, change, deal with Jasper - but for now her maternal instincts were on overdrive - yelling at her to ensure the kids were okay first. </p><p>Murphy was the one to interrupt the trio - not even hesitating before he joined the hug. He knew how tough Clarke was, especially now but he would be lying if he said his heart hadn't stopped when she was shot. Soon Raven and Octavia were wrapped around them as well. Everyone offering silent comfort to the two children in the middle. </p><p>"Rae go heal him with a syringe." Clarke finally broke the silence, feeling her anger hit her with renewed force now that she knew those she loved were safe. </p><p>"Are you sure?" Raven asked with a furrowed brow</p><p>"<em>Sha. </em>I want him strong enough for what's to come.." Clarke replied ominously, and Raven wasted no time in complying. </p><p>"Octavia, get Erik, Mikel, Asha, and Faye. They are to take shifts guarding the <em>natblidas</em> and my quarters. No one enters unless it is one of us five. <em><strong>No exceptions!</strong>" </em></p><p>"<em>Sha Klark..</em>" Octavia replied before leaving to follow her orders. </p><p>Clarke slowly extracted herself from the little ones before heading to the bathroom to shower. She let the hot water wash over her, preparing her to deal with what she was about to do. Not everyone would agree - but this would be the ultimate test. The loyalty test. They didn't have to like her decisions, but they had to <em><strong>accept</strong></em> her decisions. </p><p>When she was finished she wore a pair of tight black jeans with a tucked in white tank top, over top of that she added her black leather jacket with the Wanheda symbol adorned on the back in white. A Triquetra - symbolizing Death, Life and Rebirth. She quickly braided her hair, keeping it out of her face before strapping on her daggers. </p><p>The final touches were her war paint and she already had her design - Three claw marks running from one side of her face to the other diagonally. She walked out of the bathroom and found both of the night bloods gaping at her. She smiled softly, bringing them into another hug, kissing both of their foreheads. </p><p>"<em>You look amazing!"</em> Aiden exclaimed excitedly, practically bouncing on his heels. He looked so young in that moment. Not like a child with the weight of the world on his young shoulders. </p><p>"<em>Sha Nomi, you look so pretty!" </em>Kaya chirped, running her tiny fingers through her braids. Clarke chuckled at their excitement before sobering quickly, sighing. </p><p>"I want both of you to stay in here, I will have snacks brought to you and I will put on a movie for you to watch." She quickly tried to find a way to counteract any argument and just as anticipated they both froze when they heard 'movie', neither having any idea what that word meant. </p><p>She smiles softly, opening her door to request some snacks and juice before walking over to the TV she had Raven install and turning on 101 dalmations. She got them situated and comfortable on the sofa, covering them with a blanket. </p><p>Snacks were supplied - some vegetable sticks, finger sandwiches and cheese blocks with grape juice before she left them, not that they noticed. Completely enamored with the cartoon movie. With one last glance she smiled softly before welcoming her anger, allowing it to overcome her mood once more. </p><hr/><p>Making her way out of the drop ship Clarke knew she was more than just angry, she was <em><strong>hungry.</strong></em> She was hungry for <em><strong>answers. </strong></em>Maybe revenge? Punishment? Call it what you will. </p><p>She was stopped once again by Monty, Harper, Monroe and Bellamy, all talking at once - all talking <em><strong>at her.</strong></em> She ignored them, simply raising her hand in finality and taking great satisfaction in the way their mouths instantly snapped shut - and the dejected looks on their faces upon the realization that they immediately did as she wished. Whatever expression was shown on her face was enough for them to realize they shouldn't continue to push her - not right now.</p><p>She walked until she was standing directly in front of Jasper, the crowd before her splitting like the red sea to allow her to move. She enjoyed the way he was squirming against his bindings - the syringe of her blood having offered the <em>goufa</em> renewed energy. She watched as he mumbled around his gag, and she smirked menacingly before turning to address the waiting audience.   </p><p>"Speak Monty," Clarke commander, her eyes flashing in warning. </p><p>"Please Clarke, look he didn't know what he was doing! He's - He's <em><strong>grieving!</strong></em>" </p><p>She fought the instinct to roll her eyes, instead standing taller, hands clasped behind her back. </p><p>"<em><strong>Didn't know what he was doing?! Grieving?!</strong></em>" She repeated, raising her voice slightly, "Was he not <em><strong>aware</strong></em> when he was stalking our camp for days! <em><strong>Watching and waiting</strong></em>, for a chance to strike?! If the <em><strong>multiple</strong></em> bottles of moonshine are any indication. Was he <em><strong>not aware</strong></em> when he <em><strong>chose</strong></em> to <em><strong>shoot at a child!</strong></em>" She hissed, baring her fangs. </p><p>Clarke took more satisfaction than she felt she should have watching them flinch, she liked Monty. Hell, she liked many of them, but now was not the time for friendship. </p><p>"You killed innocents and suddenly you care when one is in danger?!" Bellamy voiced his objections, cowering slightly when she turned her glare on him. </p><p>She welcomed the change in her eyes, knowing they were once again black as night with that ominous yellow glow, and allowed her voice to take on some of the regal elegance she displayed outside Mount Weather just days before. </p><p>"I will say this <em><strong>once </strong></em>and <em><strong>only once.</strong></em> You <em><strong>chose</strong></em> to stay here. I <em><strong>gave you a choice!</strong></em>" She spit furiously, she knew Delta team was loyal to her unquestioningly. She knew they were disgusted with the delinquents right now, if the looks being sent their way were any indication, but she ignored them allowing her fangs to elongate completely, and then baring them threateningly. </p><p>"I consider some of you friends, maybe I'd go so far as to even say family, but right now? Right now I am your <em><strong>LEADER.</strong></em> I will <em><strong>always be your leader first! </strong></em>You do not have to <em><strong>agree</strong></em> with my decisions but when I make them your job is to <em><strong>Shut the hell up and accept them! </strong></em>Did I not make myself clear outside the mountain? <em><strong>I AM IN CHARGE!</strong></em> This is not like before. This is not a free for all democracy where you all get to <em><strong>bitch, moan, and complain when things don't go your way!</strong></em>"</p><p>She watched from her peripherals as her siblings pulled in closer to her, showing a united front. As Delta team surrounded the delinquents boxing then in, forcing them to comprehend the situation. She wouldn't allow them to question her, no. Not anymore. This kind of behavior - this kind of <em><strong>self importance</strong></em> is what caused drama and inner chaos last time around. What cost Lexa her life. She would <em><strong>not </strong></em>allow that to happen again. NO! This time, you are behind <em><strong>Heda and Wanheda</strong></em> or you are the enemy. </p><p>"You bowed to me! You agreed to be led by me! You spoke my title and accepted it! If you are having second thoughts now - Camp Jaha is a 3 day walk that way!!" She pointed in the general direction of the Ark, making sure to look each delinquent in the face individually. "You can stay and recognize my leadership or you can leave! Those are your choices!!" </p><p>"And if we want to challenge your <em><strong>authority</strong></em>?" Bellamy asked sarcastically</p><p>She simply bared her fangs at him, "Then after Jaspers <em><strong>punishment</strong></em>," death - she mentally amended, "Ill open the floor to challenges." Bellamy looked pale for a couple seconds before he took a deep breathe and replaced it with determination, she again had to fight an eye roll.</p><p>"There will be <em><strong>no</strong></em> interruptions, objections, whining or complaining unless you wish to share in his punishment! If you cannot accept what is about to happen as I said before, Camp Jaha is that way. What say you?!!?" </p><p>Her siblings and delta team were the first to bow before her, as she knew they would be. She didn't relent, she didn't waver. She simply stared them down until one by one the delinquents joined, each taking a knee. She paid special attention to the ones who were obviously reluctant. The ones who were a little <em><strong>too</strong></em> slow to bow. They would be the problems, her challengers. Bellamy included. </p><p>Clarke didn't bother telling them to rise, no they would all watch this on bended knee. Walking to Jasper she unsheathed one of her daggers before slicing the ropes that held him up against the tree, watching as he collapsed forward on his hands and knees. </p><p>She returned her dagger to her sheath before grabbing his throat, lifting him so he was forced to look her directly in the eyes. Displaying her strength by showing how easily she could lift him off the ground, supporting his weight with barely a strained muscle. </p><p>She ripped off the blind fold and took pleasure in the terrified expression his face once again showed. </p><p>"You <em><strong>dare</strong></em> raise a <em><strong>weapon</strong></em> against a child?!" She growled furiously, her anger aimed directly at him like a freight train. She let up just enough pressure so he could respond. </p><p>Jasper took in several generous gulps of air before his face contorted in anger, "Oh, you suddenly care about the murder of innocents?!"</p><p>If she was still the old Clarke, the Clarke from about fifty or so years ago, that comment would have stung, would have made her visibly flinch, but she wasn't. So instead, she didn't even bat an eye, which proved to enrage him further. He dug his nails into her arm when she squeezed a little tighter, tight enough to hurt but not to stop him from speaking further, "Do you even care?! You murdered an entire civilization! Genocide by Clarke fucking Griffin! In a matter of fucking <em><strong>minutes!</strong></em> Now you're all walking around and laughing like it didn't happen!! But suddenly you have reservations about killing that little bitc-" </p><p>Before he could finish his sentence, Clarke backhanded him so hard she heard his nose crack as he flew back about six feet. She knew it was unfair, he was weak after all. They all were. Hardly a worthy opponent for a damn garden snake but her fury was unrelenting. "Choose your next words <em><strong>very</strong></em> carefully, Jasper Jordan." She snarled. </p><p>Jasper seemed to pale under the obvious threat, and Clarke noticed her voice took on an edge, an echo. Like she could feel the previous Wanheda Vessels sharing in her anger, in her fury, in her resolve. Jasper would die, how would depend on what comes out his <em><strong>pathetic</strong></em> mouth next.</p><p>"Y-y-you killed Maya! She was helping us! She was a friend! And you betrayed her!" He ran at her then, and she easily dodged him, grabbing and twisting his wrist painfully behind him before shoving him forward, watching as he face planted in the dirt. </p><p>"I gave the leaders of the mountain <em><strong>plenty</strong></em> of time to back down! To save their people! to do <em><strong>ANYTHING</strong></em> other than killing us one by one, I am hardly to blame for their inaction." Clarke states matter of factly. This was a conversation she had had with Becca and Kennai multiple times. She had done her job, protect her people. Cage in the end had forgotten that being a leader meant doing what's best for your people as whole - not selfishly worrying about your own wants.</p><p>"There could've been another way! I could have fixed it! You didn't give me any time!" He screamed at her, holding his wrist against his chest whimpering lowly, blood leaking out of his freshly broken nose.</p><p>"<em><strong>You</strong></em> would've? While chained to a wall? While they drilled into Raven? What were you going to do?! How would you have handled it had you been in my shoes?"</p><p>Jasper was quiet for a minute, besides the little whimpers because of his broken nose, wrist and busted lip. Clarke knew he had no answer. They <em><strong>never did.</strong></em> It was so easy to pass blame and judgement when you're behind the lines watching things play out - but when you're in the front - responsible for the lives of so many and stuck between a rock and a hard place. You just <em><strong>can't</strong></em> understand until you've been there. </p><p>"I wouldn't have become a murdering bitch that kills her friends and allies! I wouldn't have chosen to abandon my people, I wouldn't have thought you could be just like that <em><strong>savage bitch commander!</strong></em>" </p><p>Honestly, Jasper was on his third strike and Clarke was sick of entertaining him, he wanted to this the hard way, she would comply. </p><p>"I would <em><strong>gladly</strong></em> be compared to the commander! Who is brave, smart, beautiful and an <em><strong>amazing leader!" </strong></em>Clarke spoke slowly, methodically, stalking closer to her prey with every word spoken and she loved watching him flinch back with every step. Using his unbroken wrist to back up, still sprawled on the ground. "I have <em><strong>not</strong></em> abandoned my people - they are standing around me. And as for the mountain?" Clarke's voice was calm and Jasper thought it made her that much more terrifying. She was deadly. Her fangs once again elongating, her anger returning ten fold, knowing it would only add to the terror she could smell rolling off him in waves - and proved that by the strong smell of urine suddenly coming from the <em>goufa.</em> </p><p>"Yes, I killed them. And it was <em><strong>not easy, </strong></em>but it was us or them. I will <em><strong>always choose my people!</strong></em>" A sudden cheer rang out behind her - from delta team and her siblings of course -, offering strength she didn't know she needed, "But since we both know you only <em><strong>really</strong></em> care about Maya, that you're so pathetic you are drinking yourself into a stupor for a girl you knew for six weeks, let me lay it out for you real simple." She stills when she's standing over him, not bothering to lift him to her level, instead looking down on him - showing her opinion of him. </p><p>"They were drilling <em><strong>into raven!</strong></em>" She snarled at him, "I had to listen to her <em><strong>scream </strong></em>as they did it, and what do you think would have happened <em><strong>BOY?! </strong></em>You think they would have killed her and let everyone go on their marry way?! They would have killed her and then put Harper on the table, or Monroe, or Nathan, or YOU." She dropped from her elevated position so she was straddling him, careful to avoid the urine stain on his pants. She ripped her dagger free and held it against his throat, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. Clarke leans down so she is nose to nose with him. </p><p>"I LOVED HER!" He yells indignantly</p><p>"Did you?" She asks, her head cocked curiously</p><p>"Yes! She was the love of my life! The only one who could ever understand me!"</p><p>"The only one? Not your <em><strong>best friend</strong></em> of sixteen years? Alright...What was her last name?"</p><p>"Vie!"</p><p>Favorite color?"</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Silence. </strong> </em>
</p><p>"Favorite food?"</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Silence</strong> </em>
</p><p>"Movie?"</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Silence</strong> </em>
</p><p>"What did she do in her free time? What was her mothers name? Her fathers name? Her best friends? How old was she?" </p><p>She watched with unbridled satisfaction as he faltered, unable to answer any of her questions except her last name and fathers name.</p><p>"Listen to me very carefully now..." She stated with finality, voice dropping to a deadly whisper, "I would kill Maya slowly. I would kill her fast. I would snap her neck. I would offer her in exchange. I would listen to her scream. There are a hundred ways I can tell you this and in the end the result would be the same. <em><strong>For my people,</strong></em> I would do anything. Her life didn't matter to me, and in the grand scheme of things, her life was <em><strong>meaningless.</strong></em>" She pauses to smile sweetly at him, "<em><strong>as is yours."</strong></em> </p><p>She saw his eyes widen as her words finally registered in his tiny brain and she smirked, before once again sinking her fangs in his throat, letting out a near feral growl when the taste of copper hit her tongue and slid down her throat. She couldn't describe how gratifying it was to satisfy the near insatiable appetite she had, but if forced to describe it, Clarke swears it would rank just under sex with Lexa. </p><p>Which she would choose over blood any day, even if she went on a blood thirsty killing spree because she chose sex over her thirst - she would never regret it. Her hunger for Lexa bypassed almost all of her other needs. </p><p>She didn't drain him, she simply drank her fill and pulled back. His eyes were glazed over and he was shaking, so she took pity on him. Her dagger still pressed firmly against his throat she wasted little time in pressing harder and dragging, slitting his throat in one fine movement. She stood up while he was looking at her in shock. It was clear to her that despite what he may have believed - he didn't actually want to die. </p><p>She moved out of the way so the delinquents could watch him bleed out, so they could watch him struggle to breathe air that couldn't find a way into his lungs. As he choked on his blood and tried to apply pressure with his hands to stop it, until finally he was still. Taking his last breath, his hands still against his throat as the life left his eyes. </p><p>She didn't look away, she didn't falter, she just looked upon them all. Watching their reactions, their fear, their terror, their resolve.  "Delta team, rise" she commanded softly, not bothering to look at them as they rose, and as if they could read her mind, they moved to stand behind her. "Team leaders, rise." She added, and they also took their spots behind her. </p><p>"Take his body, wrap it in a sheet and take it to the freezer." Clarke has the forethought to command, they had a rather large freezer in the  kitchens. Not necessarily made for a body but it would work to preserve him for now, she knew exactly what to do with him. She paid them no mind as she watched two members of Delta team follow her orders, she simply continuted.</p><p>"The rules are simple. As this is your first challenge, I will not enforce to the death. However the challenge will not end until one of us either is unconscious, or says the words, 'I yield.' Now who wishes to challenge me?" Clarke wastes no time in asking, wanting to get this over with rather quickly. </p><p>To her surprise, or the blonde guesses after seeing what happened to Jasper she shouldn't have been surprised, Bellamy was the only one to step forward. She subtly glanced at Octavia, receiving a nod in support that calmed her tense muscles. This wouldn't last long. </p><p>"Lincoln announce the challenge, <em>beja</em>." She requested softly, hardly ever feeling comfortable commanding her siblings. He nodded his head at her as she handed her jacket to Octavia, untucking her tank top. </p><p>"In this challenge there will be no weapons, simply hand to hand combat between challenger and challenged. As <em>Wanheda</em> stated, the challenge only ends when one of you is unconscious or one of you yields." Lincoln smirks, knowing exactly who that someone will be.</p><p>Clarke hands her daggers to Raven before moving to stand in the middle of the now formed circle. She watched as Bellamy strolled up, reeking of confidence she couldn't wait to slap off of him, and crossed his arms with his legs too far apart. </p><p>"Lets do this princess." He sneers</p><p>"Begin!" Lincoln yells out</p><hr/><p>Clarke stood still, watching as Bellamy started to circle her, and proving to be a coward he didn't go for an attack until her back was turned to him. She easily flipped over his attack, watching with satisfaction as she landed perfectly and he spun around with wide eyes. He had seen her spar, he really shouldn't be surprised, but obviously he underestimated her actual fighting abilities. </p><p>He tries to wait her out this time, but her patience surpasses his and he stalks forward only to try to tackle her. She sees it coming a mile away, and lands a spin kick to his jaw that sends him landing harshly on his back. </p><p>"<em>That'll bruise."</em> She comments in Trig, making her siblings and Delta team chuckle. She knows this will piss him off, taunting him in a language he can't even understand. She could continue this all day, it would be easy for her but she has a point to make. So instead she chooses to end it quickly. </p><p>She attacked this time, landing a hard punch on his jaw that once again sent him sprawling, when he stood up and ran at her, she jumped up wrapping her legs around his head before she flipped back, using her strong thighs to drag him with her and slam his body against the ground once again. He groaned in pain, gasping for air. </p><p>She straddled him, slamming her fist into his face twice before alternating blows to his chest and torso, She ensures she doesn't place too much pressure, she doesn't want to break any of his ribs just prove a point. </p><p>"Yield!" She growls out at him, </p><p>He shakes his head, "No!" He gasps out clearly in pain</p><p>His pride will be his downfall considering he has made no move to protect himself from her punches, so she adds force, aiming at his kidneys, stomach, ribs, jaw, nose, anywhere she knows will cause him the most pain. He his grunting, whimpering in pain but refusing to yield still. She sighs, and pulls her fist back before slamming it into the side of his face effectively knocking him out before she stands and dusts her pants off. </p><p>Facing the delinquents once more she speaks, "This will be the last time we have this conversation. Bow to me. <em>Wanheda.</em> Swear fealty to me, Swear fealty to <em>Heda.</em> <em><strong>Your commander!</strong></em> Or leave this camp now." She leaves no room for doubt in her voice. </p><p>As predicted Delta team and her siblings kneel first, "We swear fealty to <em>Wanheda </em>and <em>Heda.</em> We vow to serve and protect with our lives." Slowly, almost too slowly for her liking the delinquents follow, except Bellamy who is still passed out on the ground floor. She simply side steps his body, standing directly in front of the delinquents. When they repeat the notion, only then does she relax her shoulders slightly. </p><p>Until she hears a throat clear behind them all, she spins and she feels the breathe get knocked out of her lungs. Standing before her is none other than Lexa, Anya and Gustus. </p><p>Clarke wastes no time in taking a knee, showing Lexa and any who may be watching that she is not above the commander that she bows to her power, that she is at her disposal. </p><p>"<em>I swear fealty to you, Heda Lexa kom Trikru. The power of Wanheda is now and forever at your mercy. Wanheda bows only to you, ai Heda." </em></p><p>She doesn't look up, waiting to be granted permission, but even from her downed position she can hear the hitch in Lexa's breath after her declaration. </p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't promise my schedule for this story will stay consistent, I have a general idea of where I am trying to take it but I am sick at the moment, sitting up enough to write these stories is taking a lot out of me but I want to do it and I know a lot of people are excited for more. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the support on the story, and if you follow any of my others, seriously it means the world to me! I have always loved writing but I didn't always have the confidence to show it off. I liked the idea of keeping it to myself that way if it was a failure no one could take away my enjoyment of it, so when I first started posting I was pretty terrified but I have gained so much confidence in my writing doing this and that is in LARGE part to all the people who leave comments and Kudos so thank you so much! I may not be replying at the moment but trust me I read every single comment, even the negative ones lol  They all mean a lot to me, I appreciate the constructive criticism when it is given and I am super excited for this chapter to be finished and posted. Thank you for hanging in there with me ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If you asked Lexa later, she would deny it. Deny it, once, twice and even hundred times after that because <strong><em>Heda doesn't freeze!</em></strong> Except...that is exactly what she did. Arriving on the campsite of Clarke and the delinquents she wasn't expecting to find Clarke engaged in a battle with Bellamy - a battle she was clearly winning. She didn't expect to hear Clarke demand they swear fealty to not only <em>Wanheda </em>but <em>Heda,</em> and she definitely didn't expect Clarke to bow before her. To swear fealty to her as <em>Wanheda. </em>She hopes Clarke understands the severity of the declaration she just made.</p><p>She's staring and she knows she is, staring at the beautiful blonde before her. Even knelt as she is she can see the obvious changes to her body and she blames that on top of everything else for the reason that she is <em><strong>still</strong></em> <em><strong>standing here</strong></em> staring stupidly instead of talking, can she even remember how to do that? </p><p>Suddenly she feels a sharp jab to her left and whips her head around - though unwillingly, to find Anya staring at her with a knowing smirk, leaning over she whispers so only Lexa can hear, "Stop being a useless gay <em>Heda </em>and let the poor girl rise already." </p><p>Right. <em><strong>Right.</strong> </em>She's supposed to be composed, She's supposed to say Rise and come face to face with the blue eyes she loves so much and maybe as a forethought say a little something to all the people who just swore fealty to her, but her throat feels so dry - like she ate sand or swallowed dirt and she can't even seem to summon Saliva to help - but she has to do this! She has to stop staring so blatantly and do <em><strong>something</strong></em>! So, she clears her throat, once - twice - three times and she's glad she wore her war paint or the blush she can feel lighting up her tan face would be visible.</p><p>She feels a much softer jab on her right and turns to see Gustus looking at her with a raised eyebrow of amusement and handing her a water skin and she fights the groan because how many times is she gonna embarrass herself today and she hasn't even spoken two words yet. Taking a much needed gulp of the water she quickly recomposes herself before saying, "Rise." </p><p>Only to feel her knees go weak when she is finally looking into the blue eyes she thought she lost, the blue eyes of the woman she can't help but love...but then she remembers the mountain. Blue eyes full of pain and betrayal and of course just because she is standing here and just because Clarke swore fealty to her - it was probably just a political move, she tells herself, because surely Clarke hates her now...but then why are those Blue eyes looking at her like that?</p><hr/><p>When Clarke heard Lexa's voice for the first time in over fifty years she forced herself not to react, it would do no good if she undermined Lexa's authority by tackling her into a bone crushing hug and earthshattering kiss in front of everyone but LATER - she promised herself. </p><p>She rose, locking eyes with her favorite emerald green and she can see the minute the doubt hits her, the minute vulnerability and regret nearly drowns the woman standing in front of her and she knows her resolve is slipping. So instead of doing the only thing she wants to do, she simply crosses her arms behind her back squeezing so tight she knows without looking her knuckles are white. </p><p>"<em>Heda," </em>She says reverently and is so proud that her voice doesn't come out soft or whispered, that it doesn't waver. She is the picture of elegance and power and how she is maintaining that with those eyes looking at her with so much love but all of that pain is beyond her.  </p><p>"Where are the rest of your people, <em>Wanheda?</em>" Lexa asks her, not once taking her eyes away from Clarke's</p><p>"These are my people, we split away from the sky people. We claim them no longer." Clarke's eyes flash black for merely a second before returning to blue and she doesn't have to see it to know they do - especially when Lexa's eyes widen minutely before regaining herself. </p><p>"If it's alright with you, <em>Heda...</em>" She trails off a subtle gesture with her head to the people behind her, this is a conversation she has been waiting for and she doesn't want an audience to have it. Thankfully, Lexa seems to be of the same mind frame because she nods once and Clarke notices she doesn't feel any animosity at deferring to Lexa - not like she would have fifty years ago. Lexa is alive and she'll gladly follow any order given to her as long as she stays that way. </p><p>Clarke turns to address the people behind her, "You all have your assignments. Raven, Octavia, Murphy, Lincoln Stay. The rest, Leave us." </p><p>As the teams disperse - some to train, some to work on the different projects they have running under the supervision of Delta team who Clarke trusts more than most of the others, Clarke starts to walk towards the dropship trusting that Lexa, Anya, Gustus and the others will follow.</p><p>"you okay?" Raven asks softly, grabbing Clarke's sleeve subtly while Octavia grabs the other.</p><p>"I'm -" but she didn't know how to explain what it felt like to be back here. She knew she would see Lexa again, she knew this was real but some part of her still felt like it wasn't. Like it was a dream and when she woke she would be alone in her bed dreaming of Lexa taking her last breathe, closing her eyes for the last time. Or telling her she loves her for the first time before Lexa went to fight and protect her - to die for her again. She chose not to respond, she knew what she needed to do. To prove it was real, to remind herself she wouldn't fail this time. Failing meant losing Lexa and she wasn't willing to sacrifice her. Clarke would do anything, kill anything, <em>be</em> anything she needed to be to protect her this time. </p><p>Raven and Octavia seemed to understand she was lost in her own thoughts and they let go of her sleeves, moving to stand behind her. It was interesting to see Lexa follow Clarke, it was a side of her they hadn't gotten to see very much of. She was different for Clarke, she made concessions for her, sacrifices, decisions she wouldn't make before she met her. She allows Clarke to guide them through the dropship and she doesn't seem concerned. Like she <em>knows</em> Clarke wouldn't hurt her, even though in this timeline she doesn't remember. She doesn't know how much Clarke would sacrifice for her, she only knows that Lexa betrayed her the last time they were together and it was clear to see how much it was eating her up - the pain was radiated in her eyes while she stared at Clarke like if she looked away the blonde would disappear. </p><p>Raven hadn't let herself look at Anya yet, she knew she would see the same pain reflected in her eyes and she knew that until Clarke and Lexa were finally alone - they didn't have the time to have the conversation she wanted to have. She was angry with Anya for a long time, Angry that she had left her at the mountain just like Lexa had left Clarke. Rationally just as Clarke knew Lexa had little to no choice, Anya had even less. It wasn't her decision, it was just the decision that she had to follow but Raven had always been a little bitter that unlike Lincoln, Anya had simply followed Lexa back to TonDC - even while she was being tortured on the table, not that her dirty blonde had been aware of that at the time. </p><p>It took her time, a lot more time than it did Clarke to forgive them for what happened, and now all she wanted was to kiss her and she had little doubt Clarke was on the same page. </p><p>"Where are the nightbloods?" Lexa felt a little ashamed of herself she didn't ask sooner, but things had just been so hectic.. </p><p>"Safely in my room watching a movie with snacks," It was easy to hear the smile in Clarke's voice while she spoke of them, and it confused Lexa almost as much as confused her that the nightbloods had came to her in the first place, </p><p>"Did they explain why they left?" </p><p>"They were afraid to be in Polis while I wasn't there..." Clarke hesitantly explained, she didn't want to lie to Lexa, but how was she going to explain this? Would she believe her? Should she bring her memories back already? She exchanged a wary glance with Lincoln and Johnny,</p><p>"Afraid<em>?</em>" Lexa sounded offended, and her eyes narrowed dangerously, her body language screamed power and Clarke found herself a little drunk on it, a shiver running down her spine. </p><p>Clarke nodded once, without looking back but she felt Lexa reach out and take her elbow spinning her so they were face to face - inches away from each other and her breathe hitched in her throat. The hallway had suddenly became electrically charged, the tension was a little suffocating to the others who could only watch the stare down happening between their two leaders. Clarke felt like she couldn't take air into her lungs fast enough. She was so close to Lexa's lips and all she wanted was to close the distance between them and she found herself glancing at Lexa's lips, her eyes lingering longer than she would have wanted with an audience before she remembered herself and swallowed hard taking a step back. </p><p>Lexa looked confused and like she wanted to pull her back in but wasn't sure if she was allowed and she was breathing just as hard as Clarke was. She had never understood people who say holding yourself back from something you wanted was physically taxing but every part of her body and mind were screaming at her to walk closer, to invade her space, to grab her, kiss her, <em>take her.</em> It had been so long since she'd tasted those supple pink lips it was painful but she couldn't. Not here. </p><p>So instead she took a deep breathe and turned to walk a little faster, she finally led them to a guest room. Stepping aside so Lexa could enter first. When it looked like Gustus and Anya would enter with her, Lexa simply held up her hand stopping their movements without breaking eye contact with Clarke and then stepped into the room. She kept her back to the blonde, even when she heard the door click and knew they were finally alone. </p><p>Clarke stared at Lexa's back, she could hear how hard she was breathing, she could practically taste her indecision and still she waited... for what she wasn't sure. It could have been minutes or hours before Lexa finally gathered her courage and turned to face Clarke neither of them could have told you. The charge from earlier had returned ten fold now that they were alone, now that they could have this time to drop the act and just be them.</p><p>Lexa was prepared to apologize, to beg, to plead, to explain that she hadn't wanted to leave. That her hands were tied, that she had a plan to make sure she never had to leave Clarke again. That the blonde was her people and she just needed to make it official and then she would never be put in that position again. To get on her knees and cry until she understood she couldn't choose her over her people - no matter how much <em>Lexa</em> desperately wanted too but she didn't even get the chance to open her mouth before Clarke was pushing her backwards. </p><p>She was prepared to take her anger, she was ready and willing if that was what Clarke needed - she would be it for her. Do it for her. What she didn't expect was for Clarke's eyes to turn black, for an animalistic growl to release from her chest - something Lexa noted didn't scare her but instead sent a pure spike of pleasure from her chest to her core and her toes curled involuntarily - Clarke was lost to her instincts, <em>Wanheda</em> no longer wanted to wait for her commander. </p><p>Clarke grabbed Lexa by the hips when her back finally hit the wall and wasted no time in smashing their lips together, taking advantage of the shocked gasp that left Lexa to push her tongue in and explore every inch of her mouth. Savoring in the taste she had missed so very much, a content purr left her chest and Lexa moaned against her mouth. The vibrations doing wonderful things to her body. </p><p>A very small part of Lexa wanted to stop this, to ask Clarke what was going on, why she was kissing her instead of hitting her - but something inside of her seemed to snap at the displays of dominance by the blonde, because she felt her own version of a growl leave her throat. Much less demanding and powerful, she wasn't even sure how the hell Clarke could sound so much like an animal when she did it but she pushed that thought away for a later time. </p><p>She spun them around, pushing Clarke against the wall none to gently and relished in the moan of pleasure that left her mouth. Lexa lifted Clarke and Clarke's legs automatically went around the brunette's waist and her fingers curled into her hair while Lexa carried them over to the bed she had noticed when she first walked in the room. Their lips never stopped their frantic dance even as she crossed the room in large strides. Lexa finally slowed the kiss, gently and slowly lowered the blonde until she was sitting on the edge of the bed - looking up at her with pitch black eyes that were filled with lust. She smirked, allowing her finger tips to brush through blonde hair before caressing the side of Clarke's beautiful face - admiring the woman she had almost lost. </p><p>Lexa's thumb brushed across Clarke's lower lip and Clarke took it between her lips allowing her tongue to swirl around it, watching Lexa's pupils dilate more with each swipe. </p><p>"Mine." The brunette said, but it sounded more like a plea, something so vulnerable and delicate in her usually strong and commanding voice. Clarke hurried to reassure her.</p><p>"Yours." </p><hr/><p>When the door was practically shut in their face, Raven and Octavia wasted no time in placing their ear against it hoping to eavesdrop. Sex, an argument, sex and then an argument, maybe some begging? They weren't sure what they were going to hear but they had a bet going. Raven thought the two would jump into sex, and if the electricity they all witnessed flow between the two a few minutes ago was anything to go by she was right. Octavia thought it would be an argument, what they would argue about she couldn't say but she believed they would argue. After all it was something Lexa and Clarke did a lot - and then they'd have sex because of course! </p><p>Lincoln and Murphy quickly wrapped their arms around the waists of their sisters and pulled them away from the door, "Alright, lets go. Give them their privacy!" Murphy chastised them, before exchanging a look with Lincoln.</p><p>Lincoln nodded before clearing his throat, "So, Gustus why don't we all go look at some of the things <em>Wanheda</em> has set up around here and leave Raven and Anya to guard the door." He sent a meaningful glance in Anya's direction and received a grateful look from Raven and Anya and an annoyed look from Gustus.</p><p>"Fine.." The big man grumbled, knowing that both of the couples had things to discuss, privately but not in the least bit happy about leaving Lexa with the protection of two who would most likely not be much use in a few minutes. </p><p>Raven leaned against the wall watching as the others left her and Anya alone, Anya who had yet to look into her eyes. Anya who was tense, her shoulders pinched together like she was concentrating all her energy <em>not</em> to look at Raven. </p><p>Raven rolled her eyes, pushing off the wall and walking towards her room without looking back, "Come on Cheekbones.." She called over her shoulder, again without looking back. If she had, she would have seen the way Anya's head snapped in her direction at break neck speed when she heard her nickname roll off Raven's tongue. She was sure she would never hear it again. </p><p>She followed dutifully, ignoring the fleeting thought that she would be embarrassed if anyone saw how quickly she followed after the little sky girl but didn't have much time to dwell on it before she was suddenly standing in the middle of what was very obviously Raven's bedroom. </p><p>She didn't even get the chance to look up before she was being attacked by a tiny body, and lips were pressed firmly against hers. Anya was standing there, her eyes wide open in shock while Raven continued to place firm open mouthed kisses against her. Either she was oblivious to Anya's shock or simply didn't care. When Anya could finally convince her brain to send messages to her limbs to move - she picked Raven up, using her arm to push a majority of the tools on a workbench onto the floor - something she knew Raven would yell at her for later, but right now she didn't care. She pulled her shirt over her head, only disconnecting their lips long enough to discard it before firmly reattaching. </p><p>Raven's hands explored all the curves, abs and muscles she thought she would never touch again and she knew she lost her own bet against Octavia. There was no way she wasn't going to fuck her grounder until she'd never think of leaving her anywhere again. </p>
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